Sunday, March 2, 2014

The 3rd "P" in Our Rule of Life: Partner

If you have no idea what I'm writing about, I decided to create our own Boucher Family Rule of Life as part of my Lenten mission.  It's modeled after Holly Pierlot's A Mother's Rule of Life.  In previous posts in this series, I've written about:

I'm resuming the series today with the 3rd "P": Partner.

I love how our photographer captured this older couple walking toward us as we walked around downtown on our wedding day.  I call it foreshadowing!

When it comes to marriage, I keep coming back to these 2 quotes to help me form our Family Rule:
  • "Marriage is meant to enable us to fulfill a mission--in this instance, a mission of service and love toward our spouse." - Holly Pierlot, A Mother's Rule of Life
  • Love is "availability, acceptance, and help." - Blessed Pope John Paul II 
Keeping those two things in mind, Philip and I agree that these things need to be top priorities:
  • Setting apart time each night to just be with each other and "check in"after the kids are in bed - give each other our complete attention, make our words  
  • Regular date nights (we swap babysitting with another couple so that we have at least one date night per month without having to pay for a sitter)
  • At-home date night (Our at-home date night jar helps for inspiration!)
  • Perform tiny acts of love whenever possible - make Philip's coffee, make Philip's lunch when he's not eating hospital food next year (with a love note!), clean up after Philip or help finish an incomplete task without nagging or pointing out fault, fill up the car, prepare healthy snacks, suggest we see the action film instead of the rom-com on date night, etc.
  • Work on my own faults and behaviors before trying to change his
  • Keep the lines of communication open by "keeping short accounts" and checking in regularly, take a "time out" if we're getting upset, choose our moments wisely, and no piling on previous hurts
  • Couple prayer time before bed and sharing a holy hour (alternate who goes each week)
  • Pray for one another during our individual prayer time and ask the other person to pray for specific intentions
  • Remove obstacles to intimacy and regularly check in with each other (NFP helps us to make sure that this is a regular topic of conversation)
  • Regularly answer Holly Pierlot's questions during my weekly journaling & examination of conscience:
    • Are you taking full responsibility with your husband in all spheres of your marriage?
    • Is there any area you're shirking?
    • Is there any part of your marriage in which you're being controlling?
    • How can you change?
Questions for you:
  • What did I forget on the topic of marriage?
  • How do you keep the spark alive between yourself and your spouse?
  • How do you date on a budget?
  • What do you do to model healthy conflict resolution in front of your children?  (We recently created some rules for ourselves in this area!)
  • Do you have the habit of picking out your spouse's faults on a regular basis?  Do you do so in front of your children?
  • In what specific ways can you change?  How can you take on full responsibility or stop shirking in some areas?  Do you need to learn how to let go?
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This is my 7th of 7 posts in Jen Fulwiler's "7 Days, 7 Posts" challenge.  Come on over, join in the funk link-up, and read some great blogs!

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