8 Timeouts in the Pasta Aisle

I usually make one big trip to the grocery store each week, and we'll make smaller additional trips if necessary.  When you're a mom, you just do whatever you have to do and don't think about how crazy you look--until the people at WalMart stare.  When I go shopping with two under two, it probably looks something like a 3-ring circus.

Walt (who has one pound left before he most definitely, legally has to graduate from his infant carrier) sits atop the cart in his carseat, and Janie gets buckled in to the front seat.  The diaper bag is down below, I have my list in hand, and I have to be as efficient as possible.  On a good shopping day, I get about a half an hour before a meltdown threatens.  


We made it to the pasta aisle when Janie's tantrum began.  We had already blown through the cookie from the bakery two aisles ago, and Jane was in no mood for shopping.  My usual attempts to sing songs, point out things that we saw, make funny faces, etc. were having no effect.  

She was having what I call a typical toddler bipolar moment.  She wanted out of the cart.  She wanted her coat off.  Why was I unzipping her coat?!  She wanted to grab everything in site.  She was thirsty.  She wanted nothing to do with her sippy cup.  Coat launched onto the ground.  Sippy cup nearly takes out the woman across the aisle.  

We had 8 timeouts in the pasta aisle before we were ready to move on.  Each time, I took her out of the basket, sat her on the ground facing away from me, and declared it was a timeout.  She instantly went silent.  When the timeout was over (usually a minute later), I brought her up to her feet.  We had the same conversation each time.  

"Timeout's over.  What do you say?"  
"Sorry, Mama."     
"No (insert behavior, i.e. throwing things out of the cart).  That makes Mommy sad.  I love you.  Give Mommy a hug."


Mothering is so humbling, but I'm learning to care less and less about the humiliation.  I don't care anymore that I'm the person getting the looks at WalMart.  I'm learning that it's worth the humiliation of doing 8 timeouts in the pasta aisle to teach Jane that I'm consistent and that the rules don't change just because we're in public.  Some people stare, roll their eyes, or shake their heads.  Most people who watch me discipline Jane in public nod approvingly or even go out of their way to say something encouraging like, "You're a good mom!" 

Thank goodness Walt's such an easygoing baby and he almost never makes a peep.  We were able to get through the rest of our list in record time and without another meltdown.  

Unfortunately, making it to the checkout aisle is no guarantee of a victory.  I make it a point to select checkout employees who seem kid-friendly.  Unfortunately, the kid-friendly employee was also the slowest employee ever.  As sweet as she was, she insisted on opening every single bag of produce to identify it even though I would offer my help with, "That's one bunch of cilantro" or "That's three sweet potatoes."  Even though the code was directly on the produce, she insisted on double-checking it with the list by the register.  Yup, 4011 is bananas.  She was thorough and precise, but we were already delayed due to the 8 timeouts, and lunchtime was upon us.

I managed to get all of the bagged groceries back into the cart under Walt's carrier, the employee gave us our receipt, and God gave me a "take a chill pill" moment.

A sweet elderly couple in the aisle next to us saw that Jane had thrown her hat out of the cart.  I was planning on ignoring it until we were ready to leave.  When I was getting the receipt, the man had picked it up and was handing it to Jane.  I turned around to see them looking at the babies, making them smile and laugh.  

"What beautiful babies," the woman said.
"You're working overtime!"  said her husband.  
Thinking about the 8 timeouts, I wanted to say something like, "Oh!  You have no idea!"  Instead, I said, "Oh, they keep me pretty busy."
That's when the man said, "Well, you're very blessed.  Have a nice day!"


He was so right.  I had a cart full of food for our family, two perfectly healthy babies, we were on our way out to our car, and then we were going to our home in a safe neighborhood to have lunch and naptime.  We are so blessed.  8 timeouts in the pasta aisle is small potatoes. 


Welp, that was a nice thought.  We parted ways and I resumed my frenetic pace to get us home for lunchtime when we were slowed to a crawl.  Another elderly couple blocked our path.  God really wanted to hammer His point home.  The man pushed his wife in a wheelchair.  I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but I could hear their laughter.  They were happy to be out and about in each other's company.  

I gave God another begrudging, "OK.  I get it."  

Slow down.  
Enjoy the babies.  
Keep giving them timeouts.
Keep giving them hugs. 

We sang our ABC's all the way home because Janie wanted to.      

Love Notes and Keeping the Romance Alive

Philip started the tradition of leaving me little love notes when we were dating.  He'd leave Post-It notes, index cards, or scraps of paper in places where he knew I'd find them later.  I'd find sweet, funny, motivational messages in my planner, on my vanity, in my purse, etc.  He even left me a note on top of my alarm clock as part of his elaborate marriage proposal. 


He still leaves me these little notes on a regular basis.  I was still waking up this morning when I opened up the drawer with all of our bottle stuff and found this note:

"Thanks for being such a super mommy!  I appreciate everything that you do for our family.  Have a good day!  Love you"

I got butterflies and instantly felt like I was back in college, dating the sweet guy from the honors dorms.  I was thrilled to discover that I can still get the butterflies waking up and getting the kids rolling in the morning.    


I recently discovered a great site called For Your Marriage.  It's an initiative by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops to help strengthen the vocation of marriage.  There are all kinds of resources, including a Daily Marriage Tip that I subscribe to. 


I wrote a previous blog post about reclaiming date night.  Making it a point to have a romantic evening at least once a week during the week has really helped us to strengthen our relationship.  It's been easy for us to get stuck in the rut of putting the kids to bed, watching a show or two on tv, and then going to bed ourselves.  Date night for us can be as simple as a game of Scrabble and some wine, but it's a chance for us to connect and focus on us. 


Are you and your husband stuck in a dating rut?  Are you even dating anymore?  Consider these weekly dating ideas. 


Having a regular date night has made a big difference in our ability to: communicate effectively, take inventory of where we are, have more fun, resolve more conflict, take things less seriously, strengthen our prayer life, and be more motivated to reach our individual goals.      


If it's been awhile since you've talked about the issues covered at Engaged Encounter, consider doing this "Grade Your Marriage" activity with your spouse.  It's a good chance to check-in with each other on how you think things are going.  What better time to do it than as we begin a new calendar year?


Philip has always been so good about doing lots of little things to show me that he loves me.  One of my goals in the New Year is to show Philip in lots of little ways how much I love him. 




What kind of little things do you do for your spouse (and vice versa) to show one another how much you care?  I'd love to hear about them.


Now, I realize I'm writing this post on a Friday evening when I'm supposed to be having a hot date with my husband.  Before you all cry "hypocrite!", rest assured that we have our version of an exciting night planned.  Philip's taking a quick nap after a long day at work, and then we're watching a movie together and getting Dairy Queen Blizzards to celebrate the end of a long week.  You know you're jealous...  :)  Now, go and get back to dating your spouse!      

New Year, New 'Do for Janie

Janie's hair was looking shaggy.  Here she is, shortly after Christmas, trying on my vest.

I asked Philip to take Janie for a quick haircut at the nearest Super Cuts after dinner.  Nothing but the best for our little princess!


Can I tell you how much I love having a husband who's willing to take our daughter to get her haircut?  I suppose we both have the mentality that the worst that could happen is a bad haircut that will grow out.


I asked Philip to tell the hairstylist to please trim Jane's hair to just below her chin and to clean up her bangs.  We ended up with a short, short bob, but Jane can rock it.

Her hair's wet in these pics because she had just had her evening bath, but you get the general idea.

Janie + Barney = BFF

Bedtime story with Daddy

Nighty, night, sweetie!

Let the Children Come to Me

This year, we started after-dinner singing in front of the Advent wreath and Nativity scene.  I've found Jane going over to the buffet table where they're resting to look at them throughout the day.  

Here she is, looking at the Advent wreath and Nativity scene during one of our singing sessions.

She loves pointing out the different figures in the Nativity scene, blowing out the Advent wreath candles from afar--even when they're not lit, and singing her own rendition of "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel."  It sounds a lot like "O Come, O Come, O coooooooooooooooooooome."  

Yesterday, I was folding laundry in the living room.  Jane ran off with the laundry basket, and I heard her banging it in front of the buffet table.  This could only mean one thing.  She was on a mission to see Baby Jesus.  I grabbed the camera to catch this:

 

Sure enough, I found her, standing on top of the overturned laundry basket, peering into the stable.  Before she saw me, I watched her wave into the stable and say, "Hi, Jesus!"  She picked up the Baby Jesus out of the manger, brought him to her chest in a hug, said, "Awwwwwwww, I love you, Jesus" and then gave him a big kiss with a "Muwah!"  

Oh, man.  Talk about an "I could just eat you up" moment!  I couldn't help but let out a "Awwwww" of my own.  

When Janie realized she'd been spotted, she said, "Mama!  Look!  Jesus!  Mawwy!  Jo-sip!  Cow!  Flying!"  She had to show me all of the players in the Nativity scene. 

To convince her to leave the Nativity scene in peace (and not in pieces!), I told her that Jesus was tired and that he needed to go night-night.  She stuck him back in the manger.  "Night-night, Jesus!  Shhhhh, Mama!  Jesus sleeping!"

Catholicism Series by Fr. Robert Barron

Finding out about the Catholic Faith has never been made easier or more fun thanks to the Catholicism Series by Fr. Robert Barron!  

Fr. Robert Barron created a groundbreaking program for adults to explore what Catholics believe and why.  The program "uses the art, architecture, literature, music and all the treasures of the Catholic tradition to illuminate the timeless teachings of the Church."

According to the Catholicism Series site, the program includes: 

• Ten compelling episodes from the series on DVD. Filmed in 50 locations throughout 15 countries, the CATHOLICISM DVDs reveal these truths in a visually-breath taking and compelling way, with original, high-definition cinematography.
  
• A companion study lesson written by Carl Olson for each DVD, complete with extensive commentary, questions for understanding and also questions for application to each participant’s own life.
  
• CATHOLICISM: Journey to the Heart of the Faith, a companion book based on a more detailed rendering of the scripts from the DVD series
  
• Leader’s Program Kit, including facilitator’s guide and study guide answer key
  
• Promotional materials to announce the upcoming program in your location
  
• Spanish and English subtitles included in each DVD set
  
• Can be experienced in 12 or 22 sessions

Fortunately, several parishes are offering the series for their parishoners so that they need only pay for the study materials.  My parish, for example, is offering the 12-week series for parishoners, and they're providing childcare.  Philip and I are looking forward to having a weekly date night where we can find out more about our faith at the same time!  

If your parish isn't offering the Catholicism series, maybe another parish will.  Call your archdiocesan office, check their website, ask at your local Catholic bookstore.  There are so many phenomenal formation opportunities--we need only seek them out.  

If the series isn't available near you, try checking the PBS and EWTN programming schedule.  Both stations are airing portions of the program.  You can also purchase the book or other material a la cart. 

 

Don't just take my word for it.  Watch and read the endorsements of the program by other prominent Catholics such as Archbishop Timothy Dolan (Archbishop of New York City), George Weigel (Biographer of Blessed John Paul II), Tom Peterson (Founder and Creator of the Catholics Come Home®), and many more.

First Christmas Without Them

As beautiful and joyous as Christmastime can be, it can be equally painful for those still suffering from the loss of a loved one--especially if this is their first Christmas without them. 

James Ferdinand Irwin's family singing carols at early family reunion Christmas celebration marking safe return of sons fr. WWII (L-R) Mr. Irwin, Scotty, Carolyn, Betty Roush, Jim, Myra Lee Love, Jack, Jeanne Haney, Mrs. Irwin, Jeff Haney, Levern Love, Beth Love.© Time Inc. Myron Davis (Photo found on:  http://kcmeesha.com/2009/12/06/old-photos-old-timey-christmas/)

The EWTN online Advent devotional I've been reading throughout Advent suggests sending a letter to someone you know who has lost a loved one this last year.  Today's blog post "A Different Kind of Christmas List" by Jennifer Fulwiler suggests doing the same. 

It's so easy in the hustle, bustle, and excitement of the season to forget about those who are feeling alone and in pain.  In her blog post, Fulwiler shares the words of two people who recently lost a loved one.  They said that they felt alone in their pain during Christmas and that those who gave them a phone call, sent an e-mail, or wrote a card lifted them up.

Fulwiler took the idea of writing the letter further.  She says this is what she's going to do:

I’m going to write a list of the contact information of people I know who may be aching for lost loved ones, and bring it with me to my Christmas celebrations. And in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Christmas day, I’ll carve out time to send an email or make a quick phone call to let them know I’m thinking of them, and that they’re in my prayers.

I love that she's keeping the physical list of people with her as she runs errands, goes to Christmas parties, attends Mass, etc.  It's a tangible reminder to keep those people and their deceased loved ones in prayer. 

I'm stealing this idea.  Since I'm at home more than I'm out and about, I'm posting these people's names on my bathroom medicine cabinet and kitchen counter.  That way, after the letters are written, I am still reminded to continue to lift them up in prayer.
  
The corporal and spiritual works of mercy are on my brain since my 8th grade religious education students are learning them.  In addition to comforting your loved one, this simple action lives out two spiritual works of mercy: comforting the afflicted and praying for the living and the dead. 

Do you know someone who could use a phone call, e-mail, or letter?  

You Need Catholic Answers Live In Your Life!

Philip gave me an iPod Nano for our first Christmas together.  He had it engraved, "I love you, Catherine."  That extravagant gift quite literally changed my life.  I know I have a tendency to exaggerate, but this time I'm not kidding.  I enjoyed listening to music, but I quickly discovered the world of podcasting, and I became addicted to a podcast called Catholic Answers Live.  This radio show put me on fire for my Catholic Faith in a way I had never experienced before. 

I'd describe the show myself, but the show's website does a much better job of describing it:

Catholic Answers Live, hosted by Patrick Coffin, is a daily, two-hour radio program dedicated to Catholic apologetics and evangelization. According to listener surveys, it is a runaway favorite on Catholic stations across America. 

As a call-in program, Catholic Answers Live connects listeners to prominent leaders in the Church today—including scholars, nuns, priests, bishops, and cardinals—and touches on every aspect of our lives as Christians. You'll hear discussions on just about everything relating to the Church: doctrinal controversies, family concerns,  social issues, evangelization, ethics…you name it! 

Catholic Answers Live airs every Monday through Friday from 6-8 PM Eastern (3-4 PM Pacific) on over 160 AM and FM stations in the United States, Sirius Satellite Radio channel 130, and through the Internet at catholic.com. If you can't listen live, you can subscribe to our podcast or download individual shows from our MP3 archive.
Call in with your question at 1-888-31-TRUTH!

I will be forever indebted to the show for tackling the most difficult issues and common objections to the Catholic faith.  The show's host, Patrick Coffin, is not only funny, but he does a great job of making sure the callers stay on topic, clarifications are made, and as many callers as possible get on each hour to speak with the guest.  Typically, the show has a different guest and topic for each hour.  

Regular features on the show include:

• Q&A Open Forums.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are typically "Q&A Open Forums" where anyone can call in with any question so long as it's faith-related.  Q&A guests are usually apologists like Tim Staples, Jimmy Akin, Jim Blackburn, Karl Keating, or Patrick Madrid. 
• Q&A Open Forums for Non-Catholics.  On these days, anyone other than practicing Catholics can call in with a question.
• The Chaplain is In.  Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P. answers chaplain-related questions.
• From the Heart with Mother Miriam of the Lamb of God (formerly known as Rosalind Moss).  Mother Miriam answers questions with a mother's care and her obvious heart knowledge of God.
• Pro-Life Open Forum with Dr. George Delgado.  Callers ask questions about anything related to pro-life issues.    
• Bioethics for the Rest of Us with Fr. Tad Pacholczyk from the National Catholic Bioethics Center.  Callers ask questions about anything related to bioethical issues.  
• Scriptural Apologetics with John Martignoni.  John Martignoni uses Sacred Scripture to reveal truths about the Catholic Faith and debate these truths with non-Catholics. 
• Reel Life: Movies Reviewed with Steven D. Greydanus.  Callers ask questions about movies and Greydanus gives his review of the movie in light of the Catholic Faith.  
• The New Age Deception with Sharon Lee Giganti.  Sharon Lee discusses anything related to the New-Age movement, and callers ask her related questions.  

If you are interested in listening to the show, you have a few options:

1. Listen via podcast by downloading it on iTunes or on the Catholic.com website under "podcasts."
2. Find a local radio station that broadcasts the show.  The show broadcasts live 3-5 p.m. Pacific.  Click here for a list of stations carrying the show.  
3. Tune in to Sirius Satellite Radio's EWTN station  on channel 130. 
4. If you are using a satellite dish, tune your dish to satellite G-1, transponder 11. An analog feed is at 5.4 audio and a digital feed is at 951 audio.

As a cradle Catholic, it was easy for me to take my faith for granted.  It wasn't until I discovered Catholic Answers Live in college that I started to view the Church as a vibrant, exciting, fulfilling place where I could find peace and meaning as a young woman.  

Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I listen to Catholic radio while I work on things around the house.  Catholic Answers Live is still my favorite.  I'm able to listen on my iPhone, and I carry it around the house with me as I lug loads of laundry up and down stairs, change diapers, dust, do the dishes, etc.  I learn at least one new thing each time I listen to the show. 

In addition to the fabulous radio show, Catholic Answers offers:

• A growing collection of books, tracts, booklets, CDs, and DVDs published by the apostolate and designed to bring the public the best in Catholic apologetics and evangelization. These may be ordered through Catholic Answers’ on-line shop, along with hundreds of solid, faith-building resources by other top-notch Catholic publishers.
• Catholic Answers Magazine, the premier periodical on apologetics and evangelization;
• A Correspondence Department that provides answers to the pressing questions of thousands of people who contact Catholic Answers each year.
• Multiple web resources that present a broad range of information about Scripture and the teachings of the Church and that assist visitors in tapping into the various branches of the apostolate.

I regularly visit the online forums and post questions to fellow Catholics.  

Patrick Coffin, the Catholic Answers Live radio show host, is fond of quoting Bishop Fulton J. Sheen.  One of his favorite quotes is, "There are not more than 100 people in the world who truly hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they perceive to be the Catholic Church."  I use this quote to sum up the work of the Catholic Answers apostolate.  Even as a cradle Catholic, I had a lot of the common misconceptions about the Church before listening to the show--and I went through 12 years of Catholic education!  I can't tell you how many times I've been listening to the show and said to myself, "Oh!  So that's why..." (fill in the blank with something dealing with Catholicism).  Catholic Answers made me a better Catholic because it showed me what the Church really is and untaught the untruths the world had given me.  I know it's had an impact on countless others, too.  One of my favorite parts about listening to the show is hearing a militant atheist or self-proclaimed "Sola Scriptura" protestant call, ready to tear apart some aspect of Catholicism, but they end up thanking the host for their answers and for being so charitable in their response. 

Maybe you're struggling with some aspect about Catholicism.  Maybe you hate the Church!  Give the show a call, and pose your objections or questions.  Listen for an hour.  I dare you not to walk away with a new perspective or a deeper appreciation for the beauty of Christ's Church.       

Do yourself a favor and check out the Catholic Answers website where you'll find more information about the Catholic Answers Live show, online forums, the magazine, and many other resources.

Enjoy!