The 1st "P" in Our Rule of Life: Prayer

In case you missed it, part of my Lenten mission this year is to create a Boucher Family Rule of life modeled after Holly Pierlot's A Mother's Rule of Life.

Yesterday, I shared the essential tasks of my vocation and wrote a family mission statement.

Today, I'm starting my examination of the "5 P's"

1. Prayer
2. Person
3. Partner
4. Parent
5. Provider

I'll tackle one "P" each day for the next five days.  

First up: Prayer.

Holly Pierlot is right on when she writes that we have to schedule prayer "because God isn't so obviously urgent, because he doesn't pester us for our attention like our children or sloppy house can."  Holly suggests making a list of all of the things you think ought to comprise a healthy prayer life.  For me and where I am in my spiritual journey, those things include:

• Morning Offering
• Remember that the work of my vocation is prayer and consciously offer each chunk of the day to God to "supernaturalize the day" and "tackle every task as a direct response to God, just as if he were asking you, 'Will you go do your laundry now?'"
• Holly Pierlot has a tremendous section on overcoming sloth by offering God our efforts.  She shares Fr. John Hardon's definition of sloth as "sluggishness of soul or boredom of the exertion necessary for the performance of any good work."
• Regularly offer God my efforts in mental prayer
• Daily Readings & Gospel Reflection
• Angelus at Noon
• Saint of the Day Reflection
• Family Prayer (Rosary, bedtime prayers, prayer to St. Joseph as our family's patron saint)
• Couple Prayer with Philip before bed (reading from our Catechism reflection book and spontaneous prayer)
• Regular examination of conscience and regularly scheduled reconciliation 
• Journaling about habits of sin and distractions from my vocation
• Mass (start small with one day each week in addition to Sunday and Holy Days of Obligation)
• Holy Hour (Share a holy hour with Philip and alternate weeks that we go)
• Formal Study (Currently working on The Bible Timeline)

After determining the things I would like to have as a part of my regular prayer life, Holly suggests actually putting them into your schedule.  For me, it would look like this:

• Throughout the day: Offer chunks of time to God to "supernaturalize my day"
• Before kids wake up: Morning Offering, dedicate day to God, Daily Readings, and Gospel Reflection
• With kids at breakfast: Morning Offering and Saint of the Day Reflection
• 8:15: Daily Mass (starting with one day a week in addition to Sunday & Holy Days)
• Noon: Angelus with the children after lunch
• During children's naptime: Formal study (Bible Timeline), examination of conscience and journaling (start with once a week)
• After dinner: Family prayer time (Rosary or special prayers according to liturgical season, bedtime prayers)
• 8:00 p.m. every other Tuesday: shared Holy Hour with Philip
• 9:30 p.m.: Couple prayer with Philip (Read from Catechism reflection book, spontaneous prayer)

A few questions for you:

• Do you have an examination of conscience that you particularly like and can share?  What about a kid friendly examination?
• What resources do you use to enter into the Daily Readings?  A special app?  Homilies?  
• Do you have a formal study that you would recommend?
• Do you have a saint of the day resource that is great for reading with children?  How do you share the stories of saints with your children?
• What does your couple prayer time look like?
• Do you have any insights to share on prayer in general?

Tomorrow, I'll take on the 2nd P: Person.  That entails all of the things I need to do to keep my person healthy and ready to serve.  

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This is my 3rd of 7 posts in Jen Fulwiler's "7 Days, 7 Posts" challenge.  Come on over, join in the fun link-up, and read some great blogs!

Creating Our Boucher Family Rule of Life: Getting Started

Holy Family, pray for us!

In case you missed it, part of my Lenten mission this year is to create a Boucher Family Rule of Life modeled after Holly Pierlot's A Mother's Rule of Life.

First of all, what in the world is a Rule of Life?  As Holly Pierlot defines it, a Rule of Life "consists primarily in the examination of one's vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way."

So, before I get started on creating a schedule, I need to determine 2 things:

1. What is my vocation?
2. What essential duties does my vocation entail?  

1.  What is my vocation?

To determine my vocation, I considered what I call the proper order of relationships.  First and foremost, I am a Child of God.  Second, I am a wife.  Third, I am a mother.  I am all of these things, but it is essential that I keep them in this proper order.  

2.  What essential duties does my vocation entail?

I could go on and on listing all kinds of duties for my vocation, but I need to pare it down to the essentials to make our Family Rule effective.  

• Child of God:  Sustain a regular prayer life, frequent the sacraments, attend Mass, and show my love of God through my love of neighbor.  I also have the responsibility to care for myself (personal prayer, recreation, good nutrition, exercise, rest) so that I can perform all of my duties well.  
• Wife:  Holly Pierlot quotes Blessed Pope John Paul II as saying that love could be defined as "availability, acceptance, and help."  As a wife, I have the duty to: be available to my husband (spiritually, physically, intellectually, creatively, emotionally), be accepting of all of him, and to be a helper instead of a hindrance on his journey to sainthood.  In order to fulfill my duties as a wife, I need to keep my relationship with Philip second only to my relationship with God, but above all other relationships--even our children.
• Mother:  I can't sum up my duties as a mother more succinctly than Holly Pierlot did in her section on parenting.  She says that parenting "is a call to form persons.  We're called to bring God to our children's spirits, truth to their minds, health to their bodies, skill to their hands, beauty and creativity to their hearts, and in all this, virtue to their wills and sanctity to their souls."  To be my children's primary educator means remembering Pope Pius XI's wise words that, "Education consists essentially in preparing man for what he must be, and for what he must do here below, in order to attain the sublime end for which he was created."  In sum, it's my job as a Christian mother to foster my children's relationship with God so that they can: hear His voice calling them to their specific vocation, receive the graces to live it out well, and glorify Him through their lives as a preparation for their eternal reward with Him.  Ultimately, my job as a mother is to raise my children to become saints.   

If those are only the essential duties I have as a Child of God, wife, and mother, I have A LOT to do each day!  Now that I have my essential duties listed, we need define our family's mission (what we're doing and why) before we create a schedule.  That will help our family to maintain our focus and purpose as we go about our everyday lives.  Philip and I worked together to create our family mission statement.  Here it is:

The Boucher Family is domestic church whose mission is to know, love, and serve God.  Our aim is to live intentionally as Jesus' disciples, propel one another to sainthood, and joyfully share our love of God with others.  

I love our family mission statement!  It really pares it down to what we're supposed to be doing everyday.  I'm printing it off and putting it on our refrigerator.  Maybe someday I can get it beautifully painted on canvas to be hung in a prominent place in our home.  (Any crafty friends out there know of a way for me to do this?)  

Now that I have my vocation's duties outlined and our family mission statement written, I need to draft our family's schedule.  In order to do that, I will be examining what Holly Pierlot calls the "5 Ps."  

1. Prayer
2. Person
3. Partner
4. Parent
5. Provider

Tomorrow, I'll focus on the first P, Prayer.

Until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts on all of this.  Heck, I want to have a book club to discuss everything I'm uncovering in A Mother's Rule of Life!  What are the essential duties of your vocation?  If you had a family mission statement, what would it say?  Are you fulfilling the essential duties of your vocation?  If not, what practical changes can you make today?  What is keeping you from fulfilling your essential duties?  Are you preventing someone else from fulfilling his/her essential duties?  

If you're interested in creating your own Rule of Life, read A Mother's Rule of Life and visit Holly Pierlot's website for some great resources.     

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This is my 2nd of 7 posts in Jen Fulwiler's "7 Posts, 7 Days" challenge.  Come on over, join in the fun link-up, and read some great blogs!      

Getting Dressed All By Herself

Ever since her 4th birthday, Miss Jane is all about picking out her own outfits.  If it's a day when she has preschool, she insists on wearing her uniform all day.  Otherwise, she wants to put the outfit together all by herself.  Lately, she asks, "May I have privacy, please?" for the outfit selection process.  When she emerges fully dressed and coiffed, she likes to ask me to take a picture of the finished product.  Little brother Walt likes to join the photo shoot, too.  Here are a few of the wardrobe choices from last week:

I love the poses.

"It's all blue, Mama!"  I think the Sofia the First Halloween costume amulet and Hello Kitty socks pull the look together.

Did you know this season is all about monochromatic looks?  "It's all black, Mama!  Walt, I'm wearing your Thomas hat!"

So, the rest of you parents, I have some questions for you just because I'm curious.  I'd love to know what limits you place on your kiddos' wardrobe choices at this age.  Are your rules dependent on whether or not you're leaving the house or have company that day?  Do you try to correct fashion faux pas?  When do you insist on a wardrobe change?  Are the kids allowed to go to the grocery store dressed as a fairy?  

We had a "leggings are not pants" lesson last week.  This raising girls stuff is going to be tricky in the clothing department, huh?  I loved school uniforms as a student, and I think I'll love them even more as a parent.     

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This is my 1st of 7 posts in Jen Fulwiler's "7 Posts, 7 Days" challenge.  Come on over, join in the fun link-up, and read some great blogs! 

7 Posts, 7 Days

Starting on Monday, I'm joining Jen Fulwiler's "7 Posts, 7 Days" link-up.  Just like it sounds, I'll be writing 1 post everyday for 7 days from Monday, February 24 to Sunday, March 2.  This link-up is exactly the motivation I need to write short, imperfect posts, but to keep posting on a regular basis.  

I'm drawing up our Boucher Family Rule of Life this weekend.  My goal is to have it completely squared away by Ash Wednesday (March 5).  In the meantime, I'll probably be writing about putting it together and anything else that comes to mind!

If you want to join in the fun, come on over to the link-up here.  C'mon, you know you wanna join in!  Do it!

One way that I'm gearing up for Lent

Lent is nearly upon us, and I'm not ready--yet.  It sneaks up on me every single year, but this year, I am doing some prep work so that I can enter into the season deliberately.  I want to have a game plan, and I know that I'll desperately need one this year.  We're listing the house March 3.  Without a plan, I know I'll let myself and our family get into a rut of being in survival mode, focusing on house stuff instead of the whole Jesus dying for our sins stuff.

Philip and I started our own Happiness Project last year, but we took a hiatus from it because of my post-partum depression, the Christmas season, and life in general.  I've been wanting to revisit our Happiness Project, but I want to give it more focus.  When I was thinking about revisiting our Happiness Project, I came across Jen Fulwiler's post, "Admitting that I can't do it all...or even half of it."  

Jen wrote about the overwhelming burden we place on ourselves when we create impossible do-it-all to-do lists.  In the post, she mentions Holly Pierlot's A Mother's Rule of Life.  Have you read the book?  Do yourself and your family a favor, and read it!  

The book centers around one Catholic mama's desire to bring order and peace to her home.  To do so, Holly created a mother's rule of life modeled after the daily schedule of the Missionaries of Charity (Mother Teresa's order).  Holly wisely realized that the daily schedule for the Missionaries of Charity allows them to have peace, order, and ample time to accomplish only that which needs to be done for the day.   

Daily Schedule for the Missionaries of Charity 

4:30-5:00 Rise and get cleaned up 

5:00-6:30 Prayers and Mass 

6:30-8:00 Breakfast and cleanup 

8:00-12:30 Work for the poor 

12:30-2:30 Lunch and rest 

2:30-3:00 Spiritual reading and meditation 

3:00-3:15 Tea break 

3:15-4:30 Adoration 

4:30-7:30 Work for the poor 

7:30-9:00 Dinner and clean up 

9:00-9:45 Night prayers 

9:45 Bedtime  

The focus of the day is a healthy balance of prayer, work, and rest.  The Missionaries of Charity keep this simple schedule without overburdening themselves with all of the extra stuff.  By keeping their priorities in check, they are able to work with God to multiply their time doing what needs to be done and cutting the rest.  The schedule clearly shows that the women trust that God will help them to accomplish all that needs to be accomplished.    

I'm nearly finished with A Mother's Rule of Life, and I am chomping at the bit to create my own Boucher Family Rule of Life.  I've decided that creating our Family Rule and implementing it will be my big Lenten mission.  Our family will need order and peace as we list the house and prepare to move.  I want to have those habits in place before the chaos enters the scene, and I want to start living with order and peace now.

Philip and I will work together (with a whole lotta prayer!) to discuss our family mission and how best to accomplish that mission.  I plan to finish the book this weekend and start drawing up our family rule of life.  To create our family rule, I am going to examine the "5 Ps" from A Mother's Rule of Life:

1. Prayer
2. Person
3. Partner
4. Parent
5. Provider

I'm ready to abandon what the world says is best for our family and start deliberately living out what God is asking of our domestic church.  Throughout Lent, I'll be posting snippets and reflections on the various components of our Boucher Family Rule of Life.  I look forward to hearing how you structure your days with your family and how you are bringing peace and order to your home.  Now, I'm just praying for the graces to actually do what I think God is asking of our domestic church.  It's going to take a very healthy dose of humility to really hear what God is asking of me as the spiritual heart of our home.  

St. Joseph, our 2014 patron saint for our family, pray for us!    

Over at CatholicMom Today: No More Wasting the Bad Days

Head over to CatholicMom to read my post today.  It's called "No More Wasting the Bad Days."  It's about the morning I realized that God wants us to offer everything, even our silly little inconveniences, as offerings to Him.  

"We’re getting ready to list our house in the next few weeks, and the flooring guys came to do some work on the main floor while the kids and I holed ourselves up in the basement.  All.  Day.  Long.  The day had a rough start, and I was about ready to throw in the towel by 10:00 a.m.  I would rattle off the inconveniences and problems, but they would distract from and undermine the point of this post." Read More

Note: At publishing time, a family in Missouri is mourning the death of their ten-year-old daughter, Hailey Owens. Please join me in praying for Hailey's soul, her family, and her killer's conversion of heart. Let us unite any of our suffering to the cross for Hailey, her family, and her killer.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Small Success Thursday #8

Here are our small successes for this week:

Harry is 6 months old and more interested in playing peek-a-boo than packing boxes

It's been another wild week as we get ready to list the house.  March 3 is the official day it goes on the market.  Fortunately, that means having workers in the house is nearing an end.  The bad news is that means showings are on the horizon!  

Jane and Walt are both developing an appreciation for parenting.  Yesterday, Jane sat in the nursery chair while I changed Harry's diaper.

Jane:  Oh, Harry has a poopy diaper, Mommy!  When I am a kindergartener, can I change Harry's diaper?

Me:  Absolutely!  Why do you want to help change Harry?

Jane:  Because babies are so cute and tiny!  I love babies!

When I ask Jane what she wants to be when she grows up, her answer varies.  She has answered a doctor, a veterinarian, a nurse, a chef, a ballerina, etc.  In addition to whatever her answer is, she always says, "and a mommy.  I want to have a lot of babies!"

While Walt was admiring our painter working this morning, I asked Walt, "Do you want to be a painter when you grow up?"  He said, "No, a DADDY!"  He has such a sweet and loving disposition.  He loves playing with Baby Harry.

My dear friend's husband decided to get rid of some clothes that he wasn't wearing anymore, and she asked if Philip would be interested.  Philip is the lucky recipient of a few suits, dress shirts, a corduroy jacket, and several polos.  Yay for a new wardrobe and generous friends!  

We had a big weekend celebrating Jane and Philip's birthdays with both sides of our family.

Sunday morning and early afternoon, we hung out with Philip's parents, his brother, and his sister.  

Walt loves Papa because he fueled him up with chocolate cupcakes

Yay!  Jane got a house for her new Critters!  Thanks, Mimi and Papa!

Uncle Connor generously gave Jane and Walt a ride.

Sunday night, we went to my brother and sister-in-law's to celebrate the February birthdays with my parents, siblings, and their kiddos.

February birthdays - Philip, Jane, & Uncle Matt

Frances, Jenny, and Harry

 Uncle Matt joined us for dinner last night.  The kids had a ball playing with him!

Walt especially enjoyed teaching Matt about Thomas and all of his engine friends

The kids are lucky to have all of their fun uncles!

Uncle Matt even joined us for bedtime stories and gave unique readings of a few of the stories.  The kids wish he could help with bedtime every night!

I know, I know, it was more like another week in review post, but that's alright!  I'm sticking with it because this is my 8th Small Success Thursday post.  I haven't missed a week yet!  

Your turn!  What are your small successes from this week?  Head over to CatholicMom to join in the fun and share.  If you're using social media, use the hashtag #SmallSuccess.