Happiness Project: October Resolutions Progress Report

Philip and I decided to get serious about changing a few things around here with our version of Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project.  I wrote about it here.  Basically, we're doing small things to improve our own happiness to in turn increase the happiness of those around us.  Philip and I decided to touch base last night before bed to see where we thought we were with our October Happiness Project Resolutions.  To help hold us accountable, I thought I'd share our thoughts here. 

In case you forgot, our October Happiness Project Resolutions were:

Exercise

• Catherine, 6:00 a.m. Monday, Wednesday, Friday Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred level 1
• Philip, running or elliptical 3x per week before leaving for work

Sleep

• 9:00 p.m. get ready for bed
• Lights out at 10:00 p.m.

Faith

• Weeknight family prayer time after bathtime before bed
• 1 decade of the Rosary followed by bedtime prayers at the dinner table 

   
Let's tackle these one by one...

1.  Exercise

• Catherine:  The 6:00 a.m. routine worked a few times, but my exhaustion got the best of me most mornings.  The combination of the "big kids" waking up at 5:30 most mornings and Harry needing at least one feeding in the middle of the night made for one tired mama.  I'm switching my routine to gain some snooze time.  My new routine:  Tuesdays and Thursdays once I get home from dropping Jane off at preschool and Saturday mornings, Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, level 1.  
• Philip:  My sweet hubby was so supportive trying to get everyone dressed and fed in the mornings that he put himself last most days.  Unfortunately, he has a tough rotation on the docket for November, so we're still brainstorming ways that he can get his exercise in daily.  For now, Philip's goal is to run or do the elliptical 2x per week.

2.  Sleep

• Harry has changed his feeding routine since his last pediatric visit.  (Translation:  He's low on the percentile chart and my pediatrician would like him to fatten up before his next weigh-in.  This means he's eating longer and more frequently.)  He's having his last feeding around 9/9:30.  We start getting ready for bed immediately afterward, but we should get ready for bed before I start that feeding.  We've been in bed most weeknights before 10, but we can work harder to reach that goal.  Perhaps we could try to make Harry's feeding closer to 9, make it a goal to be in bed by 9:45, and lights out by 10:30.  

3.  Faith

• We have said 1 decade of the Rosary followed by bedtime prayers at the dinner table *almost* every night since making this resolution.  We missed a few times because of Philip's work schedule, date nights, events with extended family that kept the kids up too late, etc., but the family Rosary is definitely a habit.  On the rare nights that we missed it, the kids asked about it.  Hooray for a regular family prayer routine that is sticking!
• Things that helped our family Rosary time be successful:  
• Routine
• Low lighting and candles (with the promise that each child can blow out a candle at the end if they do a good job praying) 
• Rosaries with cord and plastic beads for the kiddos

• Picking battles and accepting baby steps toward reverence
• Family Prayer Binder (stored on top of the fridge) with all necessary materials
• Laminating & displaying an image of the mystery of the Rosary that we are praying on a stand (flanked by the lit candles)

Our family prayer binder that holds our materials

Our prayer binder tabs & pockets with prayer materials

One of our laminated images we display while praying the Rosary

• Here are few photos from our family Rosary time:

Baby steps toward reverence...  Saints in the making, right?

So, overall, I'd say we're doing well.  We can improve each area, but we are making strides in the right direction.  Our Happiness Project is off to a great start, and we already have ideas for our November resolutions.  

Do you have any suggestions for a future resolution?  What's something you're doing to boost your own happiness & the happiness of others?  

Neighborhood Nature Scavenger Hunt

Philip was post-call today.  That means that he worked a 24-hour shift at the hospital, and he had the day off once he got home this morning.  Fortunately, it was a relatively slow night at the hospital, so he was able to get a good amount of sleep. 

Philip is always so good at coming up with fun activities to do as a family.  Jane came home from preschool on Tuesday with tales of a class nature walk.  This inspired Philip to plan a family nature scavenger hunt around the neighborhood.  

He created a picture checklist for Jane and Walt of things to find.  Here's Jane with her list.  See anything strange on it?

It all seems pretty standard for a neighborhood nature walk, right?  Tree, leaf, grass, acorn, sun, monkey...  Wait, monkey?  That husband of mine loves to make the kids laugh!  

"Daddy!  We're not going to find a MONKEY!"
"Why not?"  Philip loooooooves playing dumb so that they feel smart.
"Because!  There aren't any monkeys in our neighborhood!"
"Okay, we'll see."

Don't mind us, neighbors.  We're on a mission!

Checking things off -- in purple crayon, of course

I just love how rosy his cheeks get

Still looking for that monkey!

Monty's glad we didn't bring along any strollers

Showing off some leaves she found

Hooray for strong and tall Daddy!

Whoops.  Didn't realize the view the neighbors were getting until I started walking behind them!

"Look at our collection!"  Proudly displaying everything they found.

Karate chopping each other so that they can hold their favorite items.

As much as I gripe about residency, I know I'll miss these random post-call days when Philip is home in the middle of the week.  After we came home from our nature scavenger hunt, we read stories and took a family nap.  Oh, so glorious!  After naptime, Philip made us breakfast for dinner.  We had eggs, pancakes, sausage, and apples.  Deeeeeeeeee-lish!  Philip played with the kids while I cleaned up the kitchen.  Jane and Harry even had some "tummy time" together.

Neither one seemed to enjoy it.

After that was bath time, dance time, story time, family prayer time, and bedtime.  Now, it's Mommy and Daddy (and Harry) time.  Off to hang out with my boyfriend before our bedtime!

Practicing for Preschool Picture Day

Us preschool parents found out that picture day is on Thursday.  I'm sure a lot of the other parents didn't give this a second thought.  If they did, they're probably focused on things like what their child will wear or how they will style their hair.  I'm concerned about other things.  You see, Jane likes to give it her all when it comes to taking pictures. 

She'll do one of two moves:

1. Evade the camera with all her might
2. Give the goofiest face she can think of

Philip called today to check in over lunch.  I gave him the usual report on what was going on around the home front, how preschool went for Jane, what I had been up to with the boys, etc.  I mentioned I had been trying to "practice" Jane's picture day smile with her.  

"What do you mean?" Philip asked.

"Well, I'll say, 'OK, Jane.  Pretend I'm the photographer.  When I say 'Cheese!' what are you going to do?'  Then I ask her to smile."

"Oh," Philip said.

"I'm afraid it's making the problem worse.  Now she thinks it's funnier than ever to be silly for the camera."

After recovering from laughing, Philip said, "Well, maybe you could make it look like a real photo shoot with a backdrop on the wall, ask her to stand in front of it, and take real pictures."

So, guess what we did this afternoon after lunch.  Bingo!  Preschool picture day practice photo shoot!

Wanna see how it went?

After I put up a few pieces of cardstock, my ready and willing subject, Walt, entered the scene.  It looks like he's saying, "Who?  Little old me?"

Moving subject with camera phone  = blurry

Way to go, buddy!  Show Janie how it's done!  I love your use of pretend ice cream cone.

Workin' it

This way, buddy

I'll take it

Cutie!

I think he's about over it

Yup.  He's had enough.

Enter my next subject...

This is what I got when I said, "Smile!"

Cheesy smile with a little lower lip biting action.  OK, this could be a good start!

Blowing kisses

Well, this is sure going downhill

Oh, dear

After a little break, Walt's back for more

The trouble is, the girl who doesn't want her picture taken won't leave the scene

I'm back, Mom!  Keep taking my pic!

"ME HOLD IT!"  

Jane used her time away from the camera to think up this pose

And this one

And yet another variation on that one

Alright, folks!  I think we might be coming back to cute

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, there you have it!  Cousin It!

How much do these preschool pictures cost anyway?

At least we're stationary and making eye contact

Getting too distracted...the lazy eye is making an appearance

The grand finale!  Is it naptime?

So, there you have it.  I think we're ready for preschool picture day.  Practice makes perfect!

Bringing My Happiness Project to Walmart

Last Friday, I decided I was ready to attempt my first solo grocery run with the three kiddos.  I thought an outing to Walmart was the perfect opportunity to put my Happiness Project into practice.  I'm so glad I did because I know my changed outlook made my solo grocery run a success.

Friday was a dreary, rainy morning.  When I pulled up to the Walmart parking lot, I took a few moments to collect my thoughts.  I decided it was easiest to run in, grab the "monster cart" (my affectionate name for the shopping carts with seats on the end for shopping trips with multiple kids), and bring it back to the car for loading everyone in.  I loaded Jane and Walt into the cart, put Harry in the baby carrier, and headed on in to the store.  As the automatic doors opened, I said a silent prayer.  "Blessed Mother, please give me a healthy dose of your perfect patience, tenderness, and love."  I kid you not, I felt a wave of calm come over me--and I was walking into Walmart with three kids 3 and under!

You know the saying, "The harder you work, the luckier you get"?  Well, the phrase rang true as I started tackling the grocery list.  After a few trips to this particular Walmart, I have the grocery list down to a science.  I organize the list by section and have all of the items on the list in the order that I'll find them in the store.  It makes searching and backtracking an almost non-occurence.  Working hard on the grocery list before leaving the house allows me to have a few extra brain cells available when the inevitable hiccups occur.  

Five minutes into our shopping, Jane announced, "I have to go potty!"  Before my Happiness Project, I probably would have either tempted fate by asking her to hold it or taken her, but not until I said some guilt-inducing comment like, "You're a big girl, and you need to learn how to hold it.  We went 15 minutes ago before we left the house."  But, no, I was in the first week of my Happiness Project, and gosh darn it, I was going to be happy--even if I was 5 minutes into my shopping trip with 3 kids 3 and under and my 3-year-old had to use the potty!

So, we made the trek across the store to the restrooms.  Lo and behold, God was looking down on this mama, and my Walmart had a family restroom.  Alleluia!  Jane is very into having privacy in the potty these days.  A little kickstand holder on the outside of the door allowed me to leave it slightly propped open so that I could keep an eye on her and the monster cart outside.  When she was finished, I was able to leave the door completely ajar so that Walt was still in view in the cart while I helped Jane to wash and dry her hands.  Hooray!

We were back to shopping within minutes, and I said a quick little prayer of thanksgiving.  As we made our way through the non-perishable food aisles, we encountered several store employees and customers.  I made it a point to smile at every person we met and greeted them with a cheerful, "Hello!" or "Good morning!"  Instead of receiving the usual barrage of negative comments like, "Oh, dear, don't you have your hands full!" or, "You're brave, honey!"people usually smiled, returned a cheerful greeting, or even offered to help when they saw me struggling to reach something or bend over with Harry in the baby carrier.  At one point, the kids even starting singing nursery rhymes, and I joined in.  We ran into the same elderly couple half a dozen times.  The kids adored playing peek-a-boo with the mischieveous man and smiling at the sweet woman. 

We wrapped up our trip in the produce section and made our way to the checkout.  I told Jane and Walt that they had done such a great job of being patient and sitting nicely that they got to have their traditional Oreo in the checkout aisle.  As I backed our cart into the checkout, the thirty-something single guy working behind the register seemed a little nervous about all of his young customers.  He didn't seem to be having a particularly good morning.  The customer in front of me had taken their receipt from his hands without a word, and he was spraying down the belt when I pulled up.  I startled him with a big, "Hello!" and started loading our groceries onto the belt.  I smiled and asked, "How are you doing today?" while I got the kids situated with their Oreos and sippy cups.  He returned my greeting with a big smile and said, "I'm good."  He still seemed caught off guard by the three-ring circus in his lane.  I think he was even more caught off guard that I had asked him how he was doing and that I was really asking for the answer.  

As he put the groceries into bags he said, "You know, you really make it look fun."  

"What?" I asked.

"Grocery shopping with three little kids."

I laughed and said, "Well, I'm glad I have you fooled!  I don't know if I'd call it fun.  I just do the best I can to keep them happy and lead with a positive attitude.  Today, I think I fooled them (pointing to the kids), too!"

"Well, whatever you're doing, I think it's working."

During the checkout process, I learned that the cashier had one sister, that they got along great, but that he always wished he had more siblings.  He said he thought big families "always looked like so much fun."  He asked how old Harry was, and that got Jane and Walt talking alllllllllll about their baby brother.  Walt was especially precious chiming in with Oreo all over his face.  "Das Harold!"  

We finally got all of the groceries loaded back into the cart and paid for.  The cashier handed me the receipt, smiled, waved at the kids, and said, "Be good!  Have a nice day!"  

In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin writes about it being easier to be "heavy" than it is to be "light."  In other words, it's easier to be grumpy and negative than it is to be friendly and positive.  Similarly, my dad always liked to tell us when we were growing up, "Smile, and the whole world smiles with you.  Frown, and you frown alone."  It turns out Gretchen and my dad are both right.  

Even if I'm feeling down and out about things, it doesn't do me any good to dwell on it or broadcast it to everyone willing to hear.  Instead, I'm better off choosing to be light.  There were several times during our shopping trip that I had the option to be heavy or light:  when it started raining in the parking lot, when Jane pulled several (breakable) miscellaneous items into our cart, when Jane decided she had to go potty, when Walt pinched Jane in the produce section, when Harold started whimpering halfway through the trip, when I got meat juice all over my hands, when a grumpy employee seemed annoyed that we needed an item he was stocking, etc., etc.  I had to choose:  Am I going to be light or heavy?  That rainy morning at Walmart with the kids, I chose to put a smile on my face, reach out of myself and whatever was going on, and chose to brighten someone else's day.  Even though it felt phony in the beginning, the returned smiles made it easier for me to feel genuinely happy.  

I want to be clear on a few things, though.  First, let's disabuse you of the idea that the whole trip was sunbeams and rainbows.  My kids are just as prone to tantrums and meltdowns as every other kiddo--especially at Walmart.  (What is it about Walmart and meltdowns anyway?)  

Also, I'm not advocating for phoniness.  Like I tell the kiddos (and myself), it's okay to feel whatever emotion you're feeling, BUT, this is the key: it's not okay to do whatever you want with the feelings.  For example, I'll tell Walt he can be sad when he doesn't get a second cookie, or I'll tell Jane it's okay to be sad when her favorite toy breaks, but it's not okay to whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine about it or have a royal freakout session.  

As Mommy, it's okay to feel the gamut of emotions as I respond to the curveballs tossed at me in any given day.  It's not okay to allow those emotions to determine the direction of our family's day.  I'm learning that I'm the nerve center of the home as mama bear.  When I choose to take care of my primary needs, it's easier to put on a happy face when I don't feel like it.  It's easier to clean up a potty training accident and say, "Accidents happen."  It's easier to choose to take the kids to the park after a morning of whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining.  

It's contagious, too.  I think that the cashier at Walmart had a better morning after we left--simply because we smiled and asked him about his day.  And, you know what?  The rest of the day wasn't perfect or even close to it, but it was a lot easier to keep choosing to be light, and, if I had to guess, it was probably a lot easier for that cashier to smile at the inevitable curmudgeonly customer.  

What helps you to choose to be light and not heavy?      

Our "Happiness Project"

In September, I started re-reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project.  

Gretchen spent a year of her life identifying areas where she could make small (and a few big) changes to increase her own happiness.  She argues that through becoming happier herself, she will increase the happiness of those around her.  She cites several studies showing that happier people tend to be more loving, patient, generous, philanthropic, and other positive traits.  It reminds me of the pre-flight instructions parents receive when flying with children: apply your own oxygen mask before assisting children.  If you don't apply your mask first, you won't be any help to your child.  Similarly, if we don't take care of our own primary needs first, we won't have much to give others.  

When I read books, I tend to mark up my favorite passages and excitedly insist that Philip read them, too.  Now that I have an e-reader, I can share books with Philip and electronically "highlight" my favorite parts.  If it's a book that I am enjoying, Philip's likely to hear:

"Read this paragraph!"

"Oh my gosh!  This is totally me and you!"

"We should do this!"

After reading several passages at my insistence, Philip decided to start reading the book on his e-reader, too.  A few days ago, he said, "Let's create our own Happiness Project and start it in October."

Great idea!  I can't think of a better day to start.  Today, October 1, is the feast of St. Thérèse of Lisieux.  When we miscarried our baby last year, we named her after the "Little Flower" because we loved that saint's beautiful way of living a heroic life of virtue through making daily choices to love.  

I had my 6-week postpartum follow-up OBGYN appointment this afternoon when I had this realization and just had to post it to Facebook because I had no one to share it with:

I'm waiting in the exact same exam room at my OBGYN's office where we found out we were miscarrying Thérèse for my 6-week follow-up from our perfectly healthy son's birth. Today is St. Thérèse's feast day. Wow. God is good!

I looked down and realized I was wearing my "living locket" necklace that my brother and sister-in-law gave us on the day of Thérèse s memorial service.  I didn't want to forget that moment of thanksgiving in the exam room, so I took a picture of my necklace and my exam gown.  

Interestingly enough, Gretchen Rubin writes a lot about St. Thérèse in The Happiness Project.  Gretchen, a self-proclaimed agnostic, is drawn to St. Thérèse's way of improving the happiness of others through choosing to love.

Philip and I want to create our own Happiness Project so that we can increase our own happiness and the happiness of others through self-sacrifice and self-discipline.  In theory, this should free us to better choose love.  We are setting individual and couple goals for each month.

OCTOBER HAPPINESS PROJECT RESOLUTIONS:  

Exercise

• Catherine, 6:00 a.m. Monday, Wednesday, Friday Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred level 1
• Philip, running or elliptical 3x per week before leaving for work

Sleep

• 9:00 p.m. get ready for bed
• Lights out at 10:00 p.m.

Faith

• Weeknight family prayer time after bathtime before bed
• 1 decade of the Rosary followed by bedtime prayers at the dinner table 

Like Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project, we are starting our project with resolutions that will give us more energy to continue on to the next month's resolutions.  Please pray for us that we will be successful in implementing these resolutions.