Siblings Side by Side

Here are Janie and Walt at 4, 5, 6, and 7 months side by side.  Can you tell which one is which?  Hint: the bow might help!

Four Months

 Five Months

 Six Months

Seven Months

Who is who?
Four months:  Walt, Janie
Five months:  Walt, Janie
Six months:  Janie, Walt
Seven months:  Janie, Walt

From a Crib to a Daybed

Jane's always been a climber.  She literally took things to new heights when she learned how to vault herself out of her crib.  We decided this was no longer safe, took one of the walls off of Jane's crib, and converted it into a daybed last night.


I was nervous about the whole thing because Jane also learned how to open doors last week.  (Yes, we're adding baby-proofing the doorknobs to the shopping and to-do lists.)  In the meantime, we stuck a gate outside of Jane's closed bedroom door so that (in theory) she can't escape unnoticed during the night. 


Last night went surprisingly smoothly!  Jane only got out of bed once.  Philip put Jane right back into her crib, laid down on the ground next to her, and waited until she calmed down.  When she was calm but still awake, Philip told her "goodnight" like usual, walked away, and closed the door.  Silence.  She slept until 6:30 this morning!  I heard her get out of her crib, go to the door, and say, "Mama!  Where are you?" while she fumbled with the doorknob. 


Waking up earlier than usual combined with a fun playdate yesterday must have worn her out.  Jane was a tired girl this morning.  When I was in the middle of dusting, Jane ran off to her bedroom.  She's been wanting to play in there independently lately--trying on costumes, playing with her kitchen, working on puzzles, etc.  I let her play for a few minutes before I went to check on her.


The door was shut, the light was on, and this is what I found.

Jane had put on her tutu, found her binkie in the basket on her changing table, climbed into her new daybed with "Doggy," and passed out.  

She's totally her mother's daughter.  We love our naps, and we'll get sleep at any cost--with or without tutus and lights.  Seeing Jane like this reminded me of a photo I took when she was 7 months old (same age as Walt!).  Clearly, we still needed all four walls of the crib attached! 

 
Oh, how I love those sweet chunky legs! 


Here's to hoping that the daybed transition continues to be a smooth one.  Keep those prayers coming!  :) 

WARNING: Unripe Butternut Squash Fight Back

I made a yummy butternut squash lasagna recipe last night for dinner.  It required 3 cups of diced, peeled butternut squash.  I spent a fair amount of time peeling and dicing them.  

When I was done, I noticed a film on my left hand, the hand that was holding the squash.  It started to turn red and the skin felt constricted.  I ran it under water thinking that the film would wash off.  I've always struggled with eczema and extremely sensitive skin so I wasn't alarmed--until the skin on my left hand started to peel away and flake.  It was as if I had done a chemical peel on my hand!  

I had never cooked with butternut squash before, so I just assumed that its tough texture (very similar to a sweet potato) was typical.  Apparently butternut squash fight back when they're not quite ripe.  

When an animal tries to eat the squash before it is ripe, it releases a liquid that seals off the exposed area.  The liquid dries to create a kind of scab.  This scab protects the squash and allows it to continue to ripen without spoilage.  Unfortunately, this same liquid which protects the squash absolutely destroys human hands when we cut them before they're ripe!

Here are a few pictures of my hands from last night.  I must warn you that they're pretty gross!

Comparing my left and right hands.  Parts of my right hand got the liquid on it, but my left hand must have gotten covered.

To avoid this same fate again, I wanted to learn how I can tell when I butternut squash is ripe.  According to the National Vegetable Society in the UK, "You can tell when the fruit is ripe by the texture of the skin. It becomes very firm, golden in colour and will easily resist the pressure of your thumb nail. Also, like a melon, it "rings" when given a good rap."  Real Simple says, "Pick a squash that is rock solid and heavy for its size. Its skin should be matte; a shiny finish is a sign that the squash wasn’t ripe when it was picked."

No more unripe butternut squash will be peeled in this house if my hands can help it!

 

Mass With 2 Under 2

Going to Mass with 2 under 2 has been a challenge.  Before we had Walt, we used to take turns taking Janie out of the church and into the narthex if she got ants in her pants.  When we had Walt, we had to move to a man-to-man defense.  I usually take care of Walt, and Philip usually takes care of Janie.  Whenever the day comes that we are ready for Baby #3, we'll have to move on to a zone defense.  We really need to work on our defense strategy before then.  

We struggle to keep Janie quiet and still for any extended period of time.  Fortunately, Jane received a wonderful present from Philip's parents for Christmas!  (Thank you, Mimi and Papa!)  This present has greatly improved our Mass-going experience.  This awesome present is a Busy Bible.

According to the company website,

The basic idea of a Busy Bible is to provide a book of cloth pages, incorporating simple and quiet activities - things to touch, discover, pull, open, turn, arrange and fashion.  While the child is playing with the book, he is also learning Biblical stories and principles.

The Busy Bible contains 12 pages of Bible stories beginning at creation and following through the Old and New Testaments, giving children a sense of wonder and discovery as they learn about great heroes of the Bible.

We keep our Busy Bible stored away during the week and only bring it out as a special treat when we're going to Mass.  Jane has several other faith-related kids' books such as a Children's Bible, a book of saints, prayers, etc. that we read during the week, but the Busy Bible only makes an appearance at Mass.  The flaps, snaps, Velco, buttons, zippers, and felt figured keep Jane very busy and engaged. 

Unfortunately, Jane still gets ants in her pants around the homily each week, and she refuses to sit still.  She arches her back and insists on being let down.  Philip usually has to leave with her at some point during the homily and return during the general intercessions. 

Sitting in the front pew seems counter-intuitive and scary, but it helps.  Jane is much more interested in what's going on when she can see the priest, lectors, servers, etc. and she isn't distracted by people in front of her.  Her focus doesn't last, though.  Can I tell you how humbling it is to sit in the front pew, especially when your church pews are configured like a horseshoe and your child's temper tantrum is on display for the entire congregation? 

Each week, Jane seems more and more interested in participating in the Mass.  Imitating us and everything she sees is her new favorite pastime.  She's starting to fold her hands, join in the responses, imitate the choir director, and loudly repeat what the priest says.  We're still working on our whispering skills and not talking in church.  She loves being able to use her senses--seeing the action on the altar and around her, hearing the music and melody of the prayers and bells, reaching out to shake everyone's hands during the Sign of Peace, smelling the incense.  The "smells and bells" are supposed to draw us in, and it's definitely working for one toddler I know!         

What do all of you with young children do to encourage them to be relatively still and quiet during Mass?  

Perhaps I should find a weekday Mass at a church with a crying room where we can practice sitting still without disturbing others...  

8 Timeouts in the Pasta Aisle

I usually make one big trip to the grocery store each week, and we'll make smaller additional trips if necessary.  When you're a mom, you just do whatever you have to do and don't think about how crazy you look--until the people at WalMart stare.  When I go shopping with two under two, it probably looks something like a 3-ring circus.

Walt (who has one pound left before he most definitely, legally has to graduate from his infant carrier) sits atop the cart in his carseat, and Janie gets buckled in to the front seat.  The diaper bag is down below, I have my list in hand, and I have to be as efficient as possible.  On a good shopping day, I get about a half an hour before a meltdown threatens.  


We made it to the pasta aisle when Janie's tantrum began.  We had already blown through the cookie from the bakery two aisles ago, and Jane was in no mood for shopping.  My usual attempts to sing songs, point out things that we saw, make funny faces, etc. were having no effect.  

She was having what I call a typical toddler bipolar moment.  She wanted out of the cart.  She wanted her coat off.  Why was I unzipping her coat?!  She wanted to grab everything in site.  She was thirsty.  She wanted nothing to do with her sippy cup.  Coat launched onto the ground.  Sippy cup nearly takes out the woman across the aisle.  

We had 8 timeouts in the pasta aisle before we were ready to move on.  Each time, I took her out of the basket, sat her on the ground facing away from me, and declared it was a timeout.  She instantly went silent.  When the timeout was over (usually a minute later), I brought her up to her feet.  We had the same conversation each time.  

"Timeout's over.  What do you say?"  
"Sorry, Mama."     
"No (insert behavior, i.e. throwing things out of the cart).  That makes Mommy sad.  I love you.  Give Mommy a hug."


Mothering is so humbling, but I'm learning to care less and less about the humiliation.  I don't care anymore that I'm the person getting the looks at WalMart.  I'm learning that it's worth the humiliation of doing 8 timeouts in the pasta aisle to teach Jane that I'm consistent and that the rules don't change just because we're in public.  Some people stare, roll their eyes, or shake their heads.  Most people who watch me discipline Jane in public nod approvingly or even go out of their way to say something encouraging like, "You're a good mom!" 

Thank goodness Walt's such an easygoing baby and he almost never makes a peep.  We were able to get through the rest of our list in record time and without another meltdown.  

Unfortunately, making it to the checkout aisle is no guarantee of a victory.  I make it a point to select checkout employees who seem kid-friendly.  Unfortunately, the kid-friendly employee was also the slowest employee ever.  As sweet as she was, she insisted on opening every single bag of produce to identify it even though I would offer my help with, "That's one bunch of cilantro" or "That's three sweet potatoes."  Even though the code was directly on the produce, she insisted on double-checking it with the list by the register.  Yup, 4011 is bananas.  She was thorough and precise, but we were already delayed due to the 8 timeouts, and lunchtime was upon us.

I managed to get all of the bagged groceries back into the cart under Walt's carrier, the employee gave us our receipt, and God gave me a "take a chill pill" moment.

A sweet elderly couple in the aisle next to us saw that Jane had thrown her hat out of the cart.  I was planning on ignoring it until we were ready to leave.  When I was getting the receipt, the man had picked it up and was handing it to Jane.  I turned around to see them looking at the babies, making them smile and laugh.  

"What beautiful babies," the woman said.
"You're working overtime!"  said her husband.  
Thinking about the 8 timeouts, I wanted to say something like, "Oh!  You have no idea!"  Instead, I said, "Oh, they keep me pretty busy."
That's when the man said, "Well, you're very blessed.  Have a nice day!"


He was so right.  I had a cart full of food for our family, two perfectly healthy babies, we were on our way out to our car, and then we were going to our home in a safe neighborhood to have lunch and naptime.  We are so blessed.  8 timeouts in the pasta aisle is small potatoes. 


Welp, that was a nice thought.  We parted ways and I resumed my frenetic pace to get us home for lunchtime when we were slowed to a crawl.  Another elderly couple blocked our path.  God really wanted to hammer His point home.  The man pushed his wife in a wheelchair.  I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but I could hear their laughter.  They were happy to be out and about in each other's company.  

I gave God another begrudging, "OK.  I get it."  

Slow down.  
Enjoy the babies.  
Keep giving them timeouts.
Keep giving them hugs. 

We sang our ABC's all the way home because Janie wanted to.      

Love Notes and Keeping the Romance Alive

Philip started the tradition of leaving me little love notes when we were dating.  He'd leave Post-It notes, index cards, or scraps of paper in places where he knew I'd find them later.  I'd find sweet, funny, motivational messages in my planner, on my vanity, in my purse, etc.  He even left me a note on top of my alarm clock as part of his elaborate marriage proposal. 


He still leaves me these little notes on a regular basis.  I was still waking up this morning when I opened up the drawer with all of our bottle stuff and found this note:

"Thanks for being such a super mommy!  I appreciate everything that you do for our family.  Have a good day!  Love you"

I got butterflies and instantly felt like I was back in college, dating the sweet guy from the honors dorms.  I was thrilled to discover that I can still get the butterflies waking up and getting the kids rolling in the morning.    


I recently discovered a great site called For Your Marriage.  It's an initiative by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops to help strengthen the vocation of marriage.  There are all kinds of resources, including a Daily Marriage Tip that I subscribe to. 


I wrote a previous blog post about reclaiming date night.  Making it a point to have a romantic evening at least once a week during the week has really helped us to strengthen our relationship.  It's been easy for us to get stuck in the rut of putting the kids to bed, watching a show or two on tv, and then going to bed ourselves.  Date night for us can be as simple as a game of Scrabble and some wine, but it's a chance for us to connect and focus on us. 


Are you and your husband stuck in a dating rut?  Are you even dating anymore?  Consider these weekly dating ideas. 


Having a regular date night has made a big difference in our ability to: communicate effectively, take inventory of where we are, have more fun, resolve more conflict, take things less seriously, strengthen our prayer life, and be more motivated to reach our individual goals.      


If it's been awhile since you've talked about the issues covered at Engaged Encounter, consider doing this "Grade Your Marriage" activity with your spouse.  It's a good chance to check-in with each other on how you think things are going.  What better time to do it than as we begin a new calendar year?


Philip has always been so good about doing lots of little things to show me that he loves me.  One of my goals in the New Year is to show Philip in lots of little ways how much I love him. 




What kind of little things do you do for your spouse (and vice versa) to show one another how much you care?  I'd love to hear about them.


Now, I realize I'm writing this post on a Friday evening when I'm supposed to be having a hot date with my husband.  Before you all cry "hypocrite!", rest assured that we have our version of an exciting night planned.  Philip's taking a quick nap after a long day at work, and then we're watching a movie together and getting Dairy Queen Blizzards to celebrate the end of a long week.  You know you're jealous...  :)  Now, go and get back to dating your spouse!      

New Year, New 'Do for Janie

Janie's hair was looking shaggy.  Here she is, shortly after Christmas, trying on my vest.

I asked Philip to take Janie for a quick haircut at the nearest Super Cuts after dinner.  Nothing but the best for our little princess!


Can I tell you how much I love having a husband who's willing to take our daughter to get her haircut?  I suppose we both have the mentality that the worst that could happen is a bad haircut that will grow out.


I asked Philip to tell the hairstylist to please trim Jane's hair to just below her chin and to clean up her bangs.  We ended up with a short, short bob, but Jane can rock it.

Her hair's wet in these pics because she had just had her evening bath, but you get the general idea.

Janie + Barney = BFF

Bedtime story with Daddy

Nighty, night, sweetie!