New Bedtime

I love sleep.  I looooooooooooooooooooooove sleep.  Fortunately, Janie and Walt (usually) love their sleep, too.  Unfortunately, they still wake up fairly early, and I'm in the bad habit of going to bed too late.  It's a silly problem, and I really need to do something to fix it because it's a bad day for everyone when Mama Bear doesn't get enough sleep.  When I don't get enough sleep, I'm like this lady.

As I get older, I'm learning to embrace who I am and finally own up to my triggers (the things that set me off into crazy Mama Bear mode).  Aside from hormones (ha!), my main triggers are lack of sleep, hunger, and a messy house. 

I'm finally getting a handle on the messy house, and I'm discovering more and more healthy snacks to keep me fueled throughout the day.  My big, remaining trigger is lack of sleep.  

I don't have a good reason for being tired or for staying up too late.  Philip and I don't get much time together in the evenings after we've gotten the kids to sleep, and we're learning that we simply won't get as much time as we used to have.  He usually has to be up at 5:00 a.m. to be at the hospital for morning rounds, and the kiddos will be up shortly thereafter.  

We make resolutions to go to bed earlier when it's Wednesday and we're exhausted from staying up too late, but we inevitably slide back into our old ways.  We'll watch one too many episodes of Downton Abbey, or I'll waste away an hour on Pinterest after we've gotten into bed for the night.  Before I know it, it's midnight and I want to smack myself in the head for putting myself through what I know is going to be a tough wake-up call.  


So, it's time to build-in a new habit.  There's a new bedtime at the Boucher household, and it's 9:45 p.m.  That means we will be in bed at 9:45 p.m.  There are several reasons we need to build this new habit into our routine:

1. Philip and I will both get the sleep we need.
2. I can have uninterrupted prayer time before the kids wake up.  I have been doing my prayer time during naptime, but it's unsuccessful for a few reasons:
• I've been so tired from going to bed so late that I need a nap every now and then!
• Naptime is the time when I can get things done around the house uninterrupted.  I need this time to be doing other things.
• Sometimes naptime doesn't go according to plan and I'm not able to get a good prayer time in.
3. No more of what I call fire drill wake-up calls.  When I wake up with the kids, I feel like I'm constantly putting out little fires until everyone's settled and eating at the kitchen table.  I end up re-warming my coffee several times before it's even half-gone when I'm in fire drill mode.
4. More time to enjoy reading together or having a little pillow talk.
5. I can organize my thoughts before bed and relegate all of my mental clutter to the next day's daily do-it list during this time.
6. We'll be alert enough in the evening to re-dedicate that time to praying together as a couple before bed.  

So, here's to the new bedtime, and a more-rested & happy family!  For a little extrinsic motivation, Philip and I decided we're going out for a little Dairy Queen next Tuesday night if we successfully go to bed at 9:45 p.m. every night.  Oh, how I love me some French Silk Pie Blizzard...

 

When Philip Works Inpatient Months

It's hard to believe, but Philip has almost completed his first of three years as a pediatric resident.  Yay, Philip!  We're so proud of you!


Thanks to the recent work hour restrictions put in place, Philip is able to see much more of his family than his predecessors.  Nonetheless, he's still working very hard, and sometimes the hours get the best of him.  His most intense months are called inpatient months.  During these months, he works a week of night shifts.  With two little ones at home during the day, it's tough for Philip to get much rest.  


Inpatient months are difficult on our family because of the limited time we have with Philip.  The trade-off is endless entertainment from sleepy Philip.  He's always sleep-talking, sleepwalking, or doing other goofy things.

During one of his most difficult inpatient months, Philip tapped me on the shoulder in the middle of the night and said, "Hey, who do you think will be the top-selling recording artist this year?  Taylor Swift?"  

Philip's been known to sleepwalk and sleep-talk when we have a newborn.  Sometimes it can be scary.  One night, I had to intervene when I heard the bathroom fan and tub running.  I intercepted Philip on his way to the nursery where he said he was going to "give Walt a bath"!  Yikes! 


Last night, I woke up at 2:45 a.m. to see that Philip had disappeared.  I found him, asleep on the living room couch, and he had no memory of how it happened.

A few months ago, in the midst of an inpatient month, Philip decided he'd try to help convince Janie to take a nap.  He said he'd try sleeping on the floor next to her daybed.  The plan worked for about forty-five minutes.  Then, I heard Janie making some noise.  I decided to investigate, and this is what I found when I opened the door:

Philip was snoring on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket.  Janie was standing over him in her footie pajamas, holding something.  She had gotten the hand sanitizer off of the changing table, and was standing over Philip with the bottle, ready to squirt it all over him.  Who knows what would have happened had I not come in.  Now THAT would have made a good video!  Here's the scene caught on video:

 


Is my husband the only sleepwalking, sleep-talking resident out there? 

Recipe Review: Slow-Cooker Chicken Tikka Masala

It's been a whirlwind of a day, and I'm all out of creative things to write, so I thought I'd share an awesome recipe.  

If you like Indian food and you like using your slow cooker, you're going to love this recipe.  It's called Slow-Cooker Chicken Tikka Masala.  Click on the link to access the Tasty Kitchen blog where I found the recipe.  Deeeeeeeelicious!

Image from tastykitchen.com

I've copied and pasted the ingredients and directions, and I included my notes below.

INGREDIENTS

 

FOR THE CHICKEN:

• 9 whole Boneless, Skinless Chicken Thighs
• 1 Tablespoon Ground Coriander
• 1 Tablespoon Ground Cumin
• 1 teaspoon Kosher Salt
• 1 cup Yogurt
• 4 Tablespoons Butter
• 1 whole Jalapeño Pepper, Stem Removed, Pepper Pierced Several Times With A Sharp Knife

FOR THE SAUCE:

• 4 Tablespoons Butter
• 1 whole Large Onion, Peeled And Diced
• 6 cloves Garlic, Peeled And Minced
• 1 Tablespoon Kosher Salt
• 3 Tablespoons Garam Masala
• 1 piece Fresh Ginger, About 2-3 Inches, Peeled And Grated
• 4 cups Crushed Tomatoes
• 1 Tablespoon Raw Sugar (can Substitute White Granulated If Necessary)
• 2 teaspoons Cornstarch Or Cleargel
• 1-½ cup Heavy Cream

TO SERVE:

• Hot Buttered Rice And Peas
• Chopped Fresh Cilantro

Preparation Instructions

Cut the boneless, skinless chicken thighs into 1- 1 1/2 inch pieces. Sprinkle the coriander, cumin and salt over the chicken, then stir in the yogurt until all the pieces are evenly coated. Cover lightly and let sit for 10 minutes before proceeding.

Melt 1 tablespoon the butter in a large saute pan over medium heat. Raise the heat to medium high and quickly brown about 1/4 of the chicken. Transfer browned chicken to the slow cooker as it is finished, using 1 tablespoon of butter per batch, and repeat until the chicken is all in the slow-cooker.

Throw the pierced jalapeno in on top of the chicken.

Prepare the sauce. Return the pan to the heat and melt the butter over medium high heat. Add the onions, garlic, and kosher salt, then stir. Cook, stirring frequently, until the onions begin to lightly brown around the edges.

Stir in the garam masala and ginger and cook until fragrant (about 1 minute) before raising the heat to high and adding the crushed tomatoes and raw sugar. Stir well, scraping the caramelized bits from the bottom of the pan, and bring to a boil. Pour over the chicken in the slow-cooker.

Cover and cook on LOW for 5 hours, or until the chicken is very tender.

Use a fork or whisk to stir the cornstarch or cleargel into the heavy cream until smooth. Pour into the slow-cooker and stir gently until the colour is even. Replace the lid and let cook for 10 minutes or until bubbly around the edges.

Serve over hot rice and peas, topped with a generous amount of chopped cilantro.

My Notes:

There's a lot of butter, and you can get away with cutting out a few tablespoons.

The recipe has a good kick to it from the pierced jalapeño.  If spicy isn't your thing, I'd suggest halving the jalapeño or leaving it out altogether.  

We found a good-sized jar of Garam Masala (the key spice for the sauce) at Target from their Archer Farms series.  

I used granulated sugar since I didn't have raw sugar.

Consider chopping the chicken thighs and doing the veggie prep the night before so that all you have to do the next day is combine ingredients and turn on the slow cooker.  

I used the freezer pack chicken thighs from Costco.  Gotta love Costco! 

I used cornstarch instead of the cleargel.

We used basmati rice.  We cooked according to the package directions and threw in some frozen peas for the last minute.

Serve with naan.  Got that at Costco, too!  It came in a pack of 3, so we froze the extra.  Brush it with olive oil or sprinkle a little water on it and stick it in the oven at 300 for a few minutes. 

I love cilantro, but I decided against serving with cilantro since the sauce already had so much spice to it.  Taste the sauce before you decide to add the cilantro or not. 

The recipe made a lot of leftovers for us, so I froze about half into a few quart-sized bags.  I made the recipe a few weeks ago for dinner, and had the frozen half for dinner last night.  I thawed the bags in the fridge Monday night and poured the contents into a saucepan to thaw Tuesday night for dinner.  All I had to do was make another batch of rice and throw in some peas at the end!  We had the leftover naan, too.  So good!

Enjoy!

Scattering Flowers on May Day

Happy May Day!

If you didn't get around to making May Day baskets this year, you're not alone.  Fortunately, I found a fun crafty alternative that you and your whole family can do to scatter flowers year-round!  More on that below.  

Patrick Coffin, host of Catholic Answers Live (the best show in radio as far as I'm concerned), closes every show by saying, "Be a saint.  What else is there?"

Really, what else is there?  We're made to be saints, and we shouldn't be shy about saying so.  If my job as a wife and mother is to get my family to heaven, that's just another way of saying our mission is to become saints.  So, let's get on with it!      

Among all of the saints, St. Therese of Lisieux holds a special place in my heart.  This young French girl dedicated her life to becoming a prayer warrior.  Ironically, the cloistered Carmelite nun who only lived to the age of 24, is the patroness of the missions because of the way she inspires others to serve, know, and love God.  Like Therese, all of us have the opportunity to change the world around us through our prayerful presence--even those of us who might feel like we're "cloistered" on some days at home with little ones! 

In great humility, St. Therese embraced her vocation as a cloistered Carmelite and taught the novices entrusted to her how to follow in her "Little Way."

"Great deeds are forbidden me.  I cannot preach the gospel nor shed by blood -- but what does it matter?  My brothers toil instead of me and I, a little child, keep close by the throne of God and I love for those who fight.  Love proves itself by deeds.  I will scatter flowers, perfuming the Divine Throne, and I'll sweetly sing my hymn of love.  Those flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least of actions for love." 

Each day affords us the chance to "scatter flowers" in "every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least of actions for love."  Blockheads like me don't necessarily take advantage of every opportunity we receive to follow in St. Therese's "Little Way."  Catholic blockheads like me are blessed that Mother Church, in Her wisdom, gives us sacramentals to help us along our way to sainthood.  

Sacramentals engage all of my senses to remind me that my mission is to be a saint and not a blockhead!  Bringing sacramentals into our home for us to encounter on a regular basis helps turn our minds to what is above.  In a Catholic home, you're likely to see holy water, crucifixes, statues, icons, candles, blessed salt, the nativity scene, an Advent wreath, palm branches, etc.  To remind ourselves of our mission to become saints, Catholics keep the sacramentals on their bodies.  Examples include crucifixes, scapulars, wedding rings, ashes, religious habits, liturgical vestments, etc.  

I was hoping to put together some May Day baskets for friends and family this year as a little surprise.  I found an adorable basket on Pinterest, but the time got away from me.  Since I'm too late to deliver baskets, I wanted to think of a way to build in the habit of "scattering flowers" for my loved ones.  

A beautiful ministry called The Little Ways is a home-run ministry that is dedicated to spreading the example of St. Therese of Lisieux.  As part of their mission, they teach others how to make sacrifice beads and sacrifice bead bracelets.  

Sacrifice beads.  Image from thelittleways.com

According to their website, 

As a child, St. Therese, the Little Flower used a string of beads to count her sacrifices and acts of love done for God, in that way she was able to advance in perfection daily. You too, can grow in holiness by following the example of the Little Flower. Sacrifice Beads or Good Deed Beads are a string of ten beads, which can be pulled and remain in place. They are used to count the acts of love or sacrifices a person makes in a day for God. The string of sacrifice beads helps a person to grow in perfection by increasing their acts of love they do each day. The sacrifice beads we make also have a fixed Our Father bead on the end of them. Thus they double up as a rosary.

I don't know about you, but this blockhead still needs to work on self-sacrifice and daily acts of love done for God.  What a beautiful, tangible reminder of my daily mission as a wife and mother!  Not only is this a fun craft that families can do together, but it's an awesome sacramental that helps to instill the habit of self-denial and service for others.  In this "Little Way," we hold ourselves accountable on the beads, tucked away in our pockets.

Maybe next year I'll get around to the May Day baskets.  They are adorable!

Until then, I'll make a string of sacrifice beads to help me learn how to scatter flowers like St. Therese.  Hopefully, keeping this string of beads in my apron pocket will remind me to do little things everyday for the love of my neighbor (and, therefore, God).  

Maybe I'll get around to those May Day baskets in July...

If you're interested in learning more about St. Therese of Lisieux, read more at The Society of the Little Flower.  

Gossip About Your Kids

Yes, I want you to gossip about your kids--and so does Dr. Harvey Karp, M.D.  Dr. Karp wrote two fantastic books that I recommend to all of the other parents I know.  When we were pregnant with Jane, we read The Happiest Baby on the Block, and as Jane neared her first birthday, we read The Happiest Toddler on the Block.  Both books have given us invaluable tips on getting the kids to sleep, eat, get along with others, and everything in-between.  I refer to the books on a regular basis when I'm struggling with one parenting problem or another.


Currently, I'm struggling with Janie being rough with Walt.  Check out that big bump on his head! 

Janie knows it's wrong to push him over or bonk him on the head, but she just can't seem to help herself.  She even started pushing over her playmate last week when he came to play.  My sinking suspicion is that she's doing it to get attention.  My mistake was putting Jane in a timeout every time she bonked Walt on the head or pushed over a playmate.  This was negatively reinforcing the behavior because she got my attention in the form of a timeout and a quick conversation about why it was wrong afterward.


The other day, Philip suggested using gossip to end the behavior.  Leave it to the pediatrician to be right-on about what needed to be done! 


In The Happiest Toddler on the Block, Dr. Karp talks about green-, yellow-, and red-light behaviors and how to either encourage or discourage them.  As parents, we can use gossip to encourage green-light behaviors (the good things we want our children to keep doing) and to discourage yellow-light behaviors (the things that are annoying) or red-light behaviors (things that are dangerous or break the rules).  Gossip is one of the many tools in your parenting arsenal that you'll pick up from Dr. Karp.


Here's how Dr. Karp explains gossip:

Gossip means saying things out loud near your child, so he overhears.  It works so well because all of us (kids and adults) are more likely to believe something if we overhear it than if it's told directly to us.  Gossip makes your praise five times more effective.  (And it makes your words of criticism have five times more impact too.) 

If Jane's doing a green-light behavior like sharing a toy with Walt or eating all of her carrots, I gossip about it.  I find a stuffed animal, pretend to pick up the phone to call Daddy, or tell Walt.  "Hey, Ernie!  Janie ate allllllllll of her carrots!  She is such a great eater.  It makes me soooooo happy when Janie eats all of her carrots."

Gossiping to Ernie

When I gossip, I have to make sure not to make eye contact with Janie because, as Dr. Karp says, "gossiping only works when he thinks you don't want to be overheard."  When I'm done gossiping, I simply return to whatever I was doing, and I give Janie some understated praise like, "Good job eating, Janie."


When Janie does a yellow-light behavior like whine or a red-light behavior like push over Walt, I use gossip to be a form of what Dr. Karp calls "reverse praise."  When Janie pushes Walt over, I gossip about it to a stuffed animal or directly to Walt.  Instead of asking Janie to immediately apologize or put her in a timeout, I cut off all attention.  Attention is what she wants, after all!  

I gossip about the behavior to Walt and say, "Oh, Walt!  Ouchie!  That makes you really sad when Janie pushes you over.  That's mean!  You don't like it!  It makes Mommy and Walt happy when Janie is gentle."  Or I'll grab stuffed Ernie and tell him about Jane's bullying.   


Janie perks up when she hears me talking about her doing anything--good or bad.  When she knows she'll get positive attention for doing a good thing, she'll want to do it even more.  So, when Janie hears me gossiping to Walt or Winnie the Pooh that we don't like it when she pushes, she stops the behavior.


We're still far from a perfect track record with bullying Walt, but the good news is that the pushing episodes have drastically reduced.  As a mom, I'm learning that I need to keep spotlighting my kids' good behaviors through gossip and time-ins with them--a tickle fest on the couch, a few stories, or getting out the Play-Doh.  The more I "fill up their tanks" with my love and attention, the less they act out.  

The less I "fill up their tanks" and only give them attention for the negative stuff (the yellow and red-light behaviors), the more they do them!  If you were doing a bunch of great things and only got acknowledged when you were being rotten, you'd probably keep being rotten, too!   


It sounds like a no-brainer, but it's tough when put into practice.  When it's 5:00 and you're making dinner, and Janie's whining for dinner now and Walt's crying because Jane just pushed him over, the last thing you feel like doing as a mom is a 5-minute time-in.  You want to put on Barney and plop them in the family room! 


Slowly but surely, I'm learning that the 5-minute time-in, gossip, and the other tools I picked up from Dr. Karp are helping to keep the kiddos happy and on the right track behavior-wise.  One of the many reasons that children are a blessing is that they keep instilling within their parents the virtues they need to master.  Among other things, Janie and Walt are helping me with humility and patience!     

Photo Flashback Friday

April 2010  

Janie was two months old, and we were adjusting to life as a family of three.

In her favorite spot, the lamb swing

Two-month picture

We found these sunglasses when we were out shopping and had to try 'em on her!

Jane and Larry.  They were buddies before Janie started walking.

Our big-eyed girl

Going for a stroll around the neighborhood

Stay-At-Home Mom Guilt

When I stop taking my job as a mom so seriously and stop wondering about whether or not I'm doing the right thing, I let everything else wait while I play with the kids.  Now that my house cleaning routine is a habit, I'm a better, smarter housekeeper.  Even last week, when the kids were in the throes of Hand-Foot-Mouth Disease and I had whatever awful bug hit me, there was a semblance of order around here that we maintained out of habit.  The house has never looked better, and I am spending more time than ever just loving on the babies.  Naturally, we're all thrilled with this change of pace.    


Perhaps the biggest perk is that I'm breaking free of what I call "Stay-At-Home Mom Guilt."  Certainly, guilt is a good, healthy thing when it signals we've done something wrong that needs to be rectified.  Other times, though, we bow down to external pressures to be a certain way or feel badly when we don't meet our self-imposed guidelines.  


Before I got our house in order, I would experience an emotional pendulum swing every time I carved out time to play with the kids.  I swung from pleasure to guilt.  Pleasure to guilt.  Pleasure to guilt.  


Pleasure.  I'd be tickling the kids on the ground between stories and think, "Oh!  This is awesome!  I love being a mom.  Look at them!  They're so happy.  Oh, I can't get enough of those giggles."  


Then the emotional pendulum swung the other direction.  Guilt.  "You've been playing with the kids for half an hour.  You've read every book in the bin twice.  Better get back to work."     


I'd either feel like I was being too extravagant in the attention I was giving the children or feel like I was neglecting them when I gave them less than 100% of my attention.  It was rotten because I'd feel awful when the house looked awesome because I knew I hadn't spent much time with the kids, and I felt awful about the state of the house when I spent a bunch of time with the kids.  Stay-At-Home Mom Guilt.  


I don't know if I'll ever go to bed and say to myself, "I feel like I struck the perfect balance today."  For now, this is my litmus test of a good day:

1. Did you get to spend focused, quality time with the kids today?  (Even if it was just for five minutes at a time throughout the day.)  
• Yes - Good job, Mama!  
• No - Don't be too hard on yourself, but make it a point to spend focused, quality time with them tomorrow.  They're the reason you're home in the first place.
2. Would you panic at the state of the house if the doorbell rang?
• Yes
• Are you panicking because you were lazy with the housework today or because you were busy doing mom stuff?  
• I was lazy.  -  We all need a day off from time to time.  Pick it up tomorrow.
• I was busy doing mom stuff.  -  Good, that's what you're home for anyway!
• No
• You're a rockstar!  Way to keep up with the house!

One of Jane's favorite activities is getting into her dress-up bin and trying on every single costume inside at least once.  She'll go from Tinker Bell to a horse to Elmo to a dragon to a dinosaur to a bumble bee to a ladybug to Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz to Dora to "Supergirl" in a cape in a matter of minutes.  

Getting a fidgety two-year-old in and out of those costumes every other minute wears on your patience--especially when that two-year-old is in the middle of putting on the dragon costume when she decides she wants to be a bumble bee instead.

Stay-At-Home Mom Guilt would tell me that I'm not supposed to be spending a half hour in the middle of the day, helping the kids in and out of costumes while we have a dance party to a Taylor Swift concert on Netflix in the middle of the day.     

Then you see your daughter dressed up as a horse with a big, goofy smile.

And your son is at her feet in an Elmo costume.

And they're both perfectly healthy.

And they call you "Mama."

Janie and Walt won't remember if a few dishes pile up in the sink or if I let Monty's nose prints go uncleaned from the sliding glass door.  Until they're old enough to have their own memories, I'm taking an obscene amount of pictures to document their lives.  Hopefully they'll look at them and see that their mom tried her hardest to love them extravagantly as best she could as we went about our days.  No self-imposed Stay-At-Home Mom Guilt is going to stop me from doing that!