CBS News "The Catholic Church: A House Divided?" (Part 2)

Here are the issues addressed in the CBS report "The Catholic Church: A House Divided?":

1. The excommunication of Sr. Margaret Mary McBride, R.S.M. in the Diocese of Phoenix, Arizona.
2. "Power-obsessed" Bishops
3. Vatican II
4. New Translation of the Roman Missal  
5. Apostolic Visitation to Religious Orders
6. Current status of St. Margaret Mary McBride and St. Joseph's Catholic Hospital  

I covered issues 1-2 in Part 1.  Here was my summary:

1. Sr. McBride automatically excommunicated herself by counseling the medical staff at St. Joseph Catholic Hospital to perform an abortion.
2. Bishop Olmsted acted charitably in acting as messenger in bringing this to Sr. McBride's attention.  
3. Bishops who work to ensure that the faithful in their area are acting in accord to the laws of the church are not "power-obsessed"; they are exercising their office in the Church that Christ created.

Now, onto issues 3-6.

Issue 3:  Vatican II 
Not surprisingly, the report tries to make the case through interviews that, "They're just trying to reverse the changes of Vatican II"  argument.


I wonder how many Catholics, let alone non-Catholics, have actually read all of the documents from Vatican II to see what we're actually talking about.  To get the "real deal," click on the above link to access the documents directly from the Vatican Website.  Don't count on the media to interpret these documents for you.



Remember in Part One how the story tried to turn the bishops into "cruel," "power-obsessed" men?  The story goes on to try drawing a connection between "these events" and Vatican II.

Some see these events - taken together - as symptomatic of a larger effort to reverse reforms set down by the 1960s advisory council that came to be known as Vatican II - reforms which, back then, were seen as an effort to bring the church closer to modern times.

Be wary of any attempts to sum up an entire Church council in a few sentences, let alone from Gary Macy.

"There was a sense that we should try to bring Catholicism up to the 20th and then the 21st century," said Gary Macy, a professor of theology at California's Jesuit Santa Clara University. "In all kinds of ways - in scholarship, how do we relate to psychology? How do we relate to political science? How do we relate to modern ethics? All of those questions were opened up. There was much more involvement of the laity in the liturgy, so people felt much more involved. There were less spectators and more participants."

A few concerns about Gary Macy:

1. He wrote this book: The Hidden History of Women's Ordination: Female Clergy in the Medieval West 
2. He is mentioned in Karl Keating's article "The Long Way Home: Can Losing Your Faith Be a Step in the Right Direction?" from Catholic Answers Magazine.  (Karl Keating is the founder of Catholic Answers)  Keating writes, "Gary Macy, who teaches theology at the University of San Diego, a nominally Catholic school, gives a similar argument.  He thinks the use of wheat bread and wine is merely a tradition, and traditions can be changed—or, at least, exceptions can be made: 'All kinds of things have been dispensed with in the history of the Church.'" 

Did I mention Gary Macy is the current chair of the Religious Studies department at Santa Clara University? 
Issue 4: New Translation of the Roman Missal
On November 27, 2011 (the first Sunday of Advent), Catholic churches across the United States started using the 3rd Edition of the Roman Missal.   

The Vatican has now directed American churches to institute a new mass featuring an English translation more faithful to the original Latin - a mass critics say is harder to understand, less English-speaker friendly.

A few things on the new translation:

1. It's just that--a new translation, not a "new mass."
2. The new translation is a more accurate translation of the original Latin.  Altogether, these changes create a more sacred language more fitting of worship, helping us to life our hearts and minds up to the Lord. 
• The older translation was created using what is called dynamic equivalence (translating with the goal of creating the same effect in the new language that the words had in the original language).
• The new translation was created using formal equivalence (translating word for word to replicate the same meaning). 
3. CBS says the "new mass" is "harder to understand, less English-speaker friendly"
• Latin's grammatical structure is different than English, so it is to be expected that there are marked differences (i.e., use of several subordinate clauses).
• The entire process creates an opportunity for the faithful to learn more about the Mass, its origins, and the words we say.
• Having to slow down as we learn the new prayers is an opportunity to reflect on what it is we are actually saying.  

Issue 5: Apostolic Visitation to Religious Orders
In yet another attempt to paint "the Vatican" as a secretive, power-hungry empire, the story moves on to the Apostolic Visitation of the Religious Orders across the United States.

And not long ago, the church in Rome exercised that control - launching what's called an apostolic visitation, a process shrouded in mystery allowing it to investigate orders of nuns here in the United States.

One need do no more than a Google search to find out basic information about the Apostolic Visitation and get in touch with those actually performing the visitation.  Here's what the official Apostolic Visitation website says about the visitation:

An Apostolic Visitation is a formal but personal process, initiated at the highest levels of the Catholic Church, to look into the welfare of a particular aspect of the Church. Cardinal Franc Rodé, C.M., Prefect of the Vatican’s Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life, in a December 22, 2008 decree, initiated the Visitation of apostolic institutes of women religious in the United States and appointed Mother Clare Millea, A.S.C.J., Superior General of the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, to serve as the Apostolic Visitator.

Mother Clare is a Connecticut native who has served as superior general of her religious community since 2004. She has complete administrative authority of the Apostolic Visitation and will personally conduct many inquiries and visits. Mother Clare will prepare a confidential report of her findings and observations for Cardinal Rodé at the conclusion of the Visitation.

Cardinal Rodé, a Slovenian, is a member of the Congregation of the Mission, an apostolic community of men commonly called the Vincentians. He has served as prefect of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life since 2004.

So, lo and behold, it is a woman religious sister named Mother Clare Millea, Superior General of the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, who is serving as the official Apostolic Visitator.  She will be the one to write and file the report of her observations of the religious orders across the country.

The Apostolic Visitation seeks to listen to and affirm the dignity of all women religious who serve the Church with exemplary love.

In addition, as Cardinal Rodé recently stated, “this Apostolic Visitation hopes to encourage vocations and assure a better future for women religious.” It offers women religious a valuable opportunity for prayerful and thoughtful self-examination to discern and foster avenues of growth and vitality in their congregations.

Do you have some questions about the visitation?  Lucky for you, there is a special FAQ site on the page.  Perhaps you want to know, "What has prompted this Visitation?"

The Congregation for Consecrated Life is aware that many new congregations have emerged in the United States while many others have decreased in membership or have an increased median age. Apostolic works have also changed significantly because of societal changes.  These and other areas need to be better understood and assessed in order to safeguard and promote consecrated life in the United States.  

Maybe you want to know, "Why are the congregations of male religious not included in this Visitation?"

Various congregations of male religious were interviewed during the recent United States Seminary Study. In addition, this Visitation is guided by the scope of the mandate given to the Visitator.

Maybe you want to know, "Where is all of the information going and with whom will it be shared?"

The Apostolic Visitator will use the data gathered to prepare her report for Cardinal Rodé, Prefect of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated life and Societies of Apostolic Life.  The Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA) will prepare an aggregate report of the quantitative data collected from all reporting institutes in Part A of the Questionnaire. Individual Congregations will not be identified in any way. Cardinal Rodé has authorized the public release of this report (emphasis mine).

That's a lot of sound information straight from the source actually performing the Visitation.  Wouldn't someone actually conducting the Visitation be a logical source to interview on the topic?  Instead, CBS reporter Petersen says this:

We reached out to many orders of nuns across the country hoping to get their viewpoints about all of this.

In most cases someone would agree to be interviewed. But when the interview was imminent we would be called and it would be canceled.

In the end, Sister Mary Ann Hinsdale agreed to speak with us - partly, she said, out of concern that if she didn't, no one would.

CBS tries to make it sound like the sisters they contacted were somehow silenced and that Sr. Mary Hinsdale was a brave, sacrificial lamb, speaking on behalf of the mistreated female religious congregations.

Sr. Mary Ann Hinsdale has authored and co-authored several books, including:  What's Left?  Liberal American Catholics.  You can search through the book on Amazon.  That's how I found this quote:

...the experience of women with vocations [to the priesthood] and the experience of a Church with a severe priest shortage push toward changes in Church teaching.

A female religious contributing to a book like this and writing on the topic of women's ordination is not a likely candidate to be a faithful defender of the faith.  Sister Mary Ann is a member of the order of the Sisters Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. She's also a professor of theology at Boston College. 

"Do you think this apostolic visitation is something that nuns like yourself, who are out there in the world, should be worried about?" asked Petersen. 


"I really don't know," she replied. "But I think the most problematic aspect of it is that we are not going to see a report, and we don't know what is going to be done with this."

Please see above.  The Visitation website says a public report of the findings of the Visitation will be made available.

"We were never told what was going to be done with this. And while we think this is, you know, a travesty, really, and insulting even about who we are in the church, because we think we're trying to be loyal to the church. We're trying to make, you know, plausible explanations where people are saying, 'Well, why is the church doing this? Why are they excommunicating people who are, you know, seem to be wanting good for the church?'"

So, Sr. Hinsdale is trying to connect the excommunication of Sr. McBride and the Apostolic Visitation of women religious orders to paint the bishops and Church hierarchy as out to get the sisters.  Let's re-summarize why this is silly:

1. Sr. McBride excommunicated herself.  Archbishop Olmsted was merely the charitable messenger.  Also, please continue reading to find out about Sr. McBride's current status in the Church.
2. The Apostolic Visitation's goal is to strengthen and protect women's religious orders in the United States.  A female religious herself (Mother Clare Millea, Superior General of the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus) is the Apostolic Visitator.

Petersen decided he wanted another voice on the issue, so he returned to Gary Macy.  Remember him from above?  (The Religious Studies department chair at Santa Clara University and author of The Hidden History of Women's Ordination: Female Clergy in the Medieval West).  Gary Macy chimes in with why he thinks the Apostolic Visitation of women religious is taking place.

"Why the nuns?" asked theologian Gary Macy. "This is my suspicion: They can."

"It's interesting that they would take the women's religious order, and not the men's religious orders," Macy said. "Although, you know, for so many centuries and centuries and centuries in Christianity, women have taken a hit first."

It looks like Gary Macy needs to look at the Apostolic Visitation website as well.  Remember the Q&A quote from above?  The site says that several of the men's religious orders were examined in a recent seminary study.


The report cuts back to Sr. Mary Hinsdale after Macy's comment about women in Christianity always taking the hit first.

When asked why she stays with the Church, Sister Mary Ann Hinsdale said, "Because it's my church. I have a responsibility to speak the truth that's been given to me.

Last time I checked, the Catholic Church was Christ's Church.

"There's a lot of pain and suffering, I think, in belonging to the Catholic Church today. But I think I'm following as best I can what I think God is asking me to do today in this church as we have it."

Imagine how differently the interview would look had Petersen interviewed Mother Miriam of the Lamb of God, O.S.B., prioress of Daughters of Mary, Mother of Israel's Hope (formerly Rosalind Moss).  When asked about the charism of her community in a recent National Catholic Register article, this was her response:  

What thrills me most, apart from being signs to God in the world and the freedom people have in approaching us, is the sense they have that they “own” us, so to speak. That is, they believe that they have free access to us, that we exist for them, that they have a right to expect us to pray for them, to help them, to be God’s arms to them in their need.  It is a beautiful expectation on their part, and, to my mind, that is as it should be.

Contrast the two:  

1. Sr. Hinsdale says the Catholic Church is "my church," and that "there's a lot of pain and suffering...in belonging to the Catholic Church today."  
2. Mother Miriam says other people "have a right to expect us to pray for them, to help them, to be God's arms to them in their need."  

It comes as no surprise to me that Mother Miriam's order is flourishing with vocations and that orders that have adopted Sr. Hinsdale's attitude toward the Catholic Church are the orders that are dying out. 

Issue 6:  Current status of (1) St. Margaret Mary McBride and (2) St. Joseph's Catholic Hospital 

(1) Current Status of Sr. McBride
Sr. McBride's excommunication was lifted by Bishop Olmsted, and she resigned as member of St. Joseph's Catholic Hospital ethics committee.  This is a part of the story that deserves more attention.  Excommunication is not necessarily a permanent condition!  This is the beauty of forgiveness and reconciliation.  When a member of the Church is excommunicated, the onus is on that person to come back into communion with the Church.  To do this, the individual must repent of their sins in the sacrament of reconciliation directly to the bishop or a priest appointed by the bishop to lift the excommunication.  Like all individuals going to the sacrament of reconciliation, the sacrament does not "work" unless the individual is truly repentant of the sin.  By all outward appearances, Sr. McBride is back in communion with the Catholic Church.  Hooray!

(2) Current Status of St. Joseph's Catholic Hospital
The CBS report says,

To regain its "Catholic" status, the bishop insists that it must say the medical procedure that resulted in the abortion and saved the mother of four was in violation of religious and ethical policies, and will never happen again.

So far, the hospital has refused to do so.

It still cannot call itself Catholic.

This seems pretty straightforward to me.  An institution calling itself "Catholic" needs to operate in line with Church Teaching.  When it does not operate as a Catholic hospital by performing an abortion, why is it offensive to take this title away?  


Summing it all up:

1. Issue 3:  The Second Vatican Council
• Don't count on a secular media source like CBS to sum up an entire Church Council for you.
• Read the Council documents for yourself here.
2. Issue 4:  New Translation of the Roman Missal
• The "critics" in the new translation think it is a "new mass" and are consequently troubled by the changes
3. Issue 5:  Apostolic Visitation to Religious Orders
• The actual Visitation is being conducted by a religious sister, and a public report will be made available when the Visitation concludes 
4. Issue 6:  Current Status of Sr. Margaret Mary McBride and St. Joseph's Catholic Hospital
• Sr. McBride is, by all outward appearances, back in communion with the Catholic Church
• St. Joseph's Hospital can no longer call itself "Catholic" because:
• it refuses to admit that the abortion counseled by Sr. McBride was immoral
• St. Joseph's refuses to guarantee that another abortion will not take place at the hospital

CBS News "The Catholic Church: A House Divided?" (Part 1)

Last Sunday, the CBS News Sunday Morning show aired this "cover story" reported by Barry Petersen:  "The Catholic Church: A House Divided?"  To read the full article or watch the video, click here.   

Patrick Coffin, host of my favorite radio show Catholic Answers Live, is fond of talking about the low standards for journalists reporting on church news.  He likes to say, “If I don’t know what an RBI is, the New York Times is not going to let me write a baseball column for them.  But journalists who know nothing about Christianity are assigned to cover church news all the time.” 

The lack of fact-checking and one-sidedness of this particular story illustrates the sad reality of this truth.

Msgr. Charles Pope did a great job responding to this article in his blog, and I would like to build on his ideas.  There is so much to discuss from this 10-minute video and two-page article, that I'm tackling the issues separately and chronologically as they appear in the video and article. 

Here are the issues addressed in the report:

1. The excommunication of Sr. Margaret Mary McBride, R.S.M. in the Diocese of Phoenix, Arizona.
2. "Power-obsessed" Bishops
3. Vatican II
4. New Translation of the Roman Missal  
5. Apostolic Visitation to Religious Orders
6. Current status of St. Margaret Mary McBride and St. Joseph Catholic Hospital 

Today, I'm tackling numbers 1 and 2.

Issue 1:  Excommunication of Sr. Margaret Mary McBride, R.S.M. in the Diocese of Phoenix, Arizona

Sr. Margaret Mary McBride, R.S.M.

• CBS Report Says:  Sr. Margaret Mary McBride helped to save a woman's life and was excommunicated by a cruel, obsessed with control Bishop Olmsted.
• Reality:  Sr. Margaret Mary McBride counseled the doctors of St. Joseph's Catholic Hospital to perform a direct abortion and, consequently, excommunicated herself from the Catholic Church.  Bishop Olmsted informed her of this fact.

Examining the Catholic Moral Principles at Work in This Case

The case in question involved a female patient 11 weeks along in her pregnancy who suffered from severe pulmonary hypertension.  Fr. Tad Pacholczyk, Director of Education at the NCBC, is the author of a column called Making Sense out of Bioethics that appears in various diocesan newspapers across the country.   Fr. Tad addresses pregnancies complicated by pulmonary hypertension in his July 2010 article "Difficult Pregnancies, Precarious Choices, and the Absolute Value of Innocent Lives."   Please take the time to read the brief article in its entirety.  Fr. Tad makes this statement that cuts to the core: "Better two deaths than the direct taking of an innocent life."

When there is a complicated pregnancy, the medical staff must do everything in its power to save the mother and the baby.  

Recent advances in obstetrics and pre-natal medicine, along with so-called "expectant management" (close monitoring of a pregnancy with tailored interventions), have enabled an ever greater number of these high-risk pregnancies to be managed at least until the child reaches viability. Labor can then be induced or a C-section delivery can be scheduled. This ordinarily allows both mother and child to be saved. 

Fr. Tad concludes the article with this statement:

These challenging “life of the mother” cases allow us to begin acknowledging some of our own limitations, and the mystery of God’s greater Providence, in the realization that we may not be able to “manage” or “correct” every difficult medical situation we face.

Now, let's connect the Catholic moral principles to this case:  Sr. Margaret Mary McBride was a member of the ethics committee at St. Joseph's Catholic Hospital in Phoenix, Arizona that hears difficult medical cases and advises the medical staff how to proceed while also being faithful to Catholic Teaching.  Sr. McBride counseled the medical staff to perform a direct abortion.  As established above, the direct killing of a human being to save another is never morally permissible.  I'll touch on her excommunication below.  

How the CBS Report Paints the Case

The reporter introduces Sr. McBride by the description of "a respected nun" and member of the hospital ethics committee.  After briefly explaining the patient's medical condition, the reporter says, "Modern medicine presented two equally grim options: terminate the pregnancy and save the mother, or lose both mother and child."

The reporter interviews Dr. Charles Alfano, St. Joseph's Chief Medical Officer.  Dr. Charles Alfano claims, "And as a result, we made the difficult decision, but the decision that we had to make, to terminate the pregnancy."  Petersen glibly asks, "So, no matter what you guys had done, the child would have died?"  Dr. Charles Alfano responds, "Correct."  This quick exchange excuses the direct killing of the baby because the doctors "had to" do it because child would have likely died had the staff decided to let the pregnancy run its course.    

The report goes on to say that the excommunication of Sr. McBride created a media frenzy, and the video shows a headline that reads, "Why does saving a life merit excommunication?"  Not surprisingly, the story got it wrong.  It was the abortion that caused Sr. McBride's excommunication, not the consequential survival of the mother.

How Excommunication Works in the Context of Abortion

Canon 1398 states, "a person who procures a completed abortion incurs a latae sententiae (automatic) excommunication."  So, anyone who performs, receives, encourages, or cooperates in any way with the abortion is automatically excommunicated from the moment the abortion is completed.  A person who is excommunicated must refrain from Holy Communion until after he or she has received absolution in the Sacrament of Confession and absolution from the excommunication.

Because Sr. McBride encouraged the abortion (the direct killing of the baby) as a member of the hospital ethics committee, she incurred a latae sententiae (automatic) excommunication.  Bishop Olmsted's role was being the messenger in letting Sr. McBride know that she incurred this penalty as a result of her actions. 

What is the purpose of excommunication anyway?  The Catholic Encyclopedia explains it is a "medicinal penalty":

Being a penalty, it supposes guilt; and being the most serious penalty that the Church can inflict, it naturally supposes a very grave offence. It is also a medicinal rather than a vindictive penalty, being intended, not so much to punish the culprit, as to correct him and bring him back to the path of righteousness. It necessarily, therefore, contemplates the future, either to prevent the recurrence of certain culpable acts that have grievous external consequences, or, more especially, to induce the delinquent to satisfy the obligations incurred by his offence.

Because we believe as Catholics that our actions have eternal consequences, we are in danger of eternal damnation should be die in a state of moral sin (i.e., procuring an abortion).  Since that's the case, shouldn't we Catholics be glad that Mother Church, through its ministers, does all that it can to (1) inform its members when they are out of communion, and (2) encourage them to repent of their actions to be back in full communion?      

Issue 2: "Power-Obsessed" Bishops

The report goes on to interview Father Thomas Doyle. 

Father Thomas Doyle, who specializes in church law and once worked for the Vatican's Embassy in Washington, D.C., said, "The excommunication of the sister, I thought, was an extremely cruel act. I can't describe it in any other way."

Father Doyle is now an outspoken critic of the church, and says what happened in Phoenix points to an unfolding trend within the church.

"It tells me that within the hierarchy, there is a great deal of fear, that there is almost an obsession with control, that there's an inability, I think, to deal with the 21st century.

"The bishop in Phoenix is not unique," Father Doyle said. "There are many, many like him."

A few points here:

1. Sr. McBride automatically excommunicated herself by counseling the medical staff to perform an abortion.  Bishop Olmsted merely informed her of her status as an act of charity.
2. "what happened in Phoenix points to an unfolding trend within the church."  
• The implied trend is that the bishops across the country are going rogue, trying to squash its members and excommunicate anyone who gets in their way.  Characterizing the bishops in this way causes further division and mistrust of the Church leadership.
• Faithful Catholics should see the medicinal role of excommunication and pray that their bishops will continue to act charitably toward its members, helping them to rectify any actions that may have caused their excommunication. 

Directly following Father Thomas Doyle's critique of the U.S. bishops, the story lists two examples of U.S. bishops exercising their authority against (1) the schismatic American Catholic Council who wants the Church to ordain women and (2) Sr. Elizabeth Johnson's "Quest for the Living God" :

Take Archbishop Allen Vigneron in Detroit, who has spoken against the American Catholic Council, a group promoting change within the church, including the ordination of women.

Or the U.S. Conference of Bishops: They've critiqued and investigated the writings of Sister Elizabeth Johnson, a feminist theologian whose book "Quest for the Living God" has become popular among liberal Catholics.

A few points on these examples:

1. The American Catholic Council is a schismatic group acting under the guise of "Church renewal."  Church renewal is a beautiful thing to be embraced as Archbishop Allen Vigneron wrote in his letter to the group.  Proclaiming that changes such as the ordination of women must be made "in the spirit of Vatican II" are contrary to the Catholic faith, and Archbishop Vigneron rightly tried to put an end to their meeting in Detroit.  You can read his full letter on the Archdiocese of Detroit website.   
2. Sister Elizabeth Johnson's book is problematic because it promotes modalism.  The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops' position is explained in this article by the National Catholic Reporter. 
   

Let's Sum It Up

1. Sr. McBride automatically excommunicated herself by counseling the medical staff at St. Joseph Catholic Hospital to perform an abortion.
2. Bishop Olmsted acted charitably in acting as messenger in bringing this to Sr. McBride's attention.  
3. Bishops who work to ensure that the faithful in their area are acting in accord to the laws of the church are not "power-obsessed"; they are exercising their office in the Church that Christ created.

I'll tackle the rest of the issues tomorrow!

Did You Know Thursday is Mother's Day?

Ok, so maybe we don't celebrate Mother's Day on Thursday, December 8th in the United States, but I'm going to make the case that all Catholic families should.

In the Catholic Church, we celebrate the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary on December 8.  The Immaculate Conception is a Holy Day of Obligation celebrating that Mary was free from the effects of Original Sin from the moment of her conception.  Pope Pius IX elevated December 8 as a Holy Day of Obligation in 1854 when he declared the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception.

It should come as no surprise that December 8, The Immaculate Conception, is also a national holiday and Mother's Day (El Día de la Madre) in Panama.  Because it is a national holiday, families are free to attend Mass together in celebration of their spiritual mother, Mary, and come together to celebrate their earthly mothers as well.  Family members give moms a day off from her usual labors and honor her with a special meal that they prepare for her.  How cool is that?

Consider making December 8th Mother's Day for your family.  (I'm sure the mothers in your life wouldn't object to celebrating in May as well!)  Children and husbands, tell the mother in your life to take the day off from laundry, cooking, and cleaning.  Make her breakfast in bed.  Guys, if cooking isn't your thing, go out to dinner as a family at her favorite restaurant.  Write her a card letting her know how important she is in your life.  Encourage all of her children to do the same.  Nothing beats a handmade card or gift from a child!

Don't forget where you came from!  Write letters or give a call to Grandma and Great-Grandma as well.  Share stories of the matriarchs in the family. 

We must not forget to celebrate the other spiritual mothers in our lives.  These women are usually forgotten on Mother's Day because they may not be physical mothers.  Perhaps there is a special consecrated religious, faith-filled neighbor, old teacher, or a great friend who, by her presence in your life, draws you into a closer relationship to God.  Thank her. 

On December 8th, we should give thanks to God for the gift of our spiritual mother, Mary.  We should pray that our earthly mothers (biological, adoptive, or spiritual) will magnify the greatness of the Lord for their families, local communities, and the world.  May all women come to live out the fullness of their vocation as physical and spiritual mothers.

The hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of woman is being acknowledged in its fullness, the hour in which women acquire in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved.  That is why, at this moment when the human race is undergoing so deep a transformation, women impregnated with a spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid humanity in not falling.*

* Taken from Closing Speeches, Vatican Council II, To Women, read by Leon Cardinal Duval of Algiers, Algeria, assisted by Julius Cardinal Doepfner of Munich, Germany, and Raul Cardinal Silva of Santiago, Chile, December 8, 1965, printed by the Daughters of St. Paul, Boston, Mass., 29.

      

Feast of St. Nicholas and a Great Book

How is your Advent going?  I've been enjoying my daily Advent devotional on EWTN's website.  The daily reflection is based on a Scripture verse.  Then, there is a short reflection followed by an "Advent Action" (something you can do to put the day's lesson into action), and a closing prayer.

Philip gave me a wonderful book that I have to recommend for every Catholic home!  Fittingly, it's called The Catholic Home: Celebrations and Traditions for Holidays, Feast Days, and Every Day by Meredith Gould, Ph.D.  (I've linked to Amazon.com, but I encourage you to purchase the book from your local Catholic bookstore if you can.) 

The book introduces the reader to the beautiful traditions available to us through the celebration of the liturgical calendar.  In addition to the liturgical seasons, there are other sections on topics such as daily devotions, honoring the sacraments, making time, Mary, essential prayers, and recommended resources.

This book has been a great resource to me.  I am learning so much, and I am loving all of the ideas I am getting for our home and family.  Next year, for example, I hope to adopt the tradition of having a Jesse Tree.   How cute is this one?!  Here's the link with directions on how to make this particular tree.

The author suggests giving Santa "a sacred makeover" by restoring St. Nicholas Eve (December 5) and St. Nicholas Day (December 6).  St. Nicholas was a fourth-century bishop of Myra (in modern-day Turkey).  Among his contributions were being present at the Council of Nicaea and condemning Arianism.  On her section about St. Nicholas, Gould says:

During the sixteenth century, the stately St. Nicholas, Bishop of Myra, patron saint of children in the Eastern Churches, was transformed into a boisterous, hefty old man with a long white beard.  The red getup and beard happen to have been modeled (by Dutch Protestants) on the Norse god Thor who lived in "Northland" and traveled the skies in a goat-drawn chariot.  How St. Nicholas morphed into Santa Claus is somewhat of an enigma, although Nicholas of Myra was known for comforting orphans with little gifts (20).

If you would like to honor this saint, consider adopting the tradition of writing a letter to the Christ Child like the European and Canadian Catholics do.  Be sure to leave the note on the windowsill for St. Nicholas to pick up and deliver.

If you're more hardcore (and confident in your children's religious formation), adopt the tradition of Eastern Europe and the Low Countries.  Have St. Nicholas arrive on December 6.  Rather than a red suit, he wears a white robe and the bishop mitre.  Holding his staff, he asks children to recite their Catechism or prayers.  Traditional gifts include cookies, chocolate, apples, nuts, and holy cards.  Instead of opening gifts on Christmas Day, children receive their presents on January 6th, The Feast of the Epiphany (celebration of the Magi's visit to the Christ Child).

The book says nothing about shoes, but the Feast of St. Nicholas tradition at my house will involve shoes!  My children will leave their shoes outside of their bedrooms, and St. Nicholas will fill them with gold chocolate coins, a clementine (or other fruit), and a Holy Card.  How cute are these precious little shoes??? 

Have you ever celebrated the Feast of St. Nicholas at your house?  What do you do to celebrate?   

Breastfeeding Bedlam

So, let's resume my breastfeeding saga starting after I got home from the hospital...I've decided to split up my experiences with Janie and Walt because I don't want them to melt together.  Who knew I'd have so much to say about this?  I'm warning you that this is a really long post, but I didn't want this to become a 3-part series.  Apparently I had some issues to work through!

I kept up with the nursing routine with Janie that we established in the hospital.  Janie ate like a champ, but it became obvious after two weeks that the milk wasn't there, and she was not happy about it!  It got to the point where I had to feed her every hour and she'd be hungry the next.  With Janie, I had the stress of knowing that maternity leave would end quickly and that I had to establish a milk supply before she returned to daycare.  With Walt, I had the stress of feeling like I had to get my feeding routine figured out pronto so that I could take care of him and fifteen-month-old Janie in the best way possible.  Having to feed a baby every hour wasn't really working out well for anyone! 

Between the visit when I was told I might have to supplement with formula and my decision to stop breastfeeding around 3 weeks, I was in such emotional agony.  I'm really good at guilt.  Here's why I felt guilt with Janie:

1. The financial investment we made in a great pump in the hopes that it would help me to produce more milk and return to work with a stockpile ready for Janie.  Unfortunately, my record was 2 oz. per breast.  
2. I wasn't able to produce enough food for her.     
3. I was so tired and in pain that I wasn't keeping up with the housework or cooking.   
4. I wasn't bonding as well with Janie because I was so unhappy.  
5. I was so consumed with my physical recovery and emotions that I wasn't as available as I should have been for Philip.
6. The pediatrician was anti-formula and condescending about my lack of success with breastfeeding.  He basically told me that I needed to figure it out because breastmilk is best.  You can imagine what it was like for me to go to Janie's next appointment after I stopped breastfeeding and have to give her a formula bottle in front of him with his disapproving look.  Lesson learned:  You're not married to your pediatrician.  If you feel like your child's doctor is not helping you to be a better parent or support you in your role, it's time to find a new pediatrician.  (Note:  That visit, combined with him being a too aggressive with antibiotics, led us to switch to our fabulous new pediatrician.) 

I'll never forget how sweet Philip was throughout the whole process.  He even got up with me for most nighttime feedings.  He sat on the nursery floor and kept us company, telling me that he didn't feel right sleeping while I had to be up.  He kept telling me how proud of me he was and that I was doing a great job.  He asked how I thought things were going several times a day, but he knew that something had to change.  When Janie was nearly three weeks old, I reached my breaking point, and Philip knew it. 

Philip sat down on the couch next to me while Janie was taking a nap.  I started crying and telling him all of the reasons why I was feeling guilty about things.  I told him I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and that I was failing in every area of my life.  I imagine I looked a lot like this:

 
Philip gave me a big hug and told me that I was a great wife and mother.  Bring on the tears!  He said that I should be proud of myself for even trying to breastfeed.  He told me that if I wanted to stop breastfeeding that he would support me and that I shouldn't feel guilty because I had done the best that I could.  I told him that I did but I didn't want to stop.  I didn't want to stop giving Janie the best possible food.  I didn't want to stop having that close connection.  I did want to stop the hourly feedings and constant exhaustion that was preventing me from recovering and being a happy person.

That's when Philip took my hand and said it:  "Why don't we stop?"  Oh, the tears.  I was such a hot mess.  Philip kept talking while I sobbed.  He said that it was obvious I was miserable.  He said forcing breastfeeding to work but being miserable wouldn't be doing Janie any favors.  Despite the great health benefits, she'd be a much happier baby if she had a happy mom.  I couldn't disagree with that.  I told Philip that the thought of giving Janie a formula bottle didn't terrify me nearly as much as it used to and that it actually made me feel relief.

Janie had her first formula bottle from Philip that day.  She finished it in record time and slept a solid four hours before she woke, ready for another feeding.  A new calm settled over the house.  I began to get some rest, and so did Janie.  Philip was able to return the pump, freeing me from that guilt.  Janie started sleeping through the nights just weeks later.  I had the energy to be a wife and mother again.  Philip was glad to have his smiling and happy wife again.  Looking back, I don't think I had post-partum depression with either baby.  I think I had a bad case of the baby blues combined with the terrible guilt.  I hate thinking of the sad, detached zombie mom I was to Janie those first few weeks.

After switching to formula and seeing how much happier all of us were, we kept asking each other, "Why didn't we do this sooner?!"

I finally forgave myself and was able to move on--until six months later when we got the exciting news that we were expecting another baby.

I'm always thinking about things, trying to plan the future, making lists, and fretting away.  So, as you can imagine, one of my first thoughts after finding out that we were expecting was, "Do I dare try breastfeeding again?"  

Philip and I talked it over, and we decided before Walt arrived that we would give it another try.  Here were our reasons:

1. Obvious health benefits.
2. Mother/baby bonding.
3. A second delivery should be an easier recovery.
4. I'm staying at home and don't have to worry about creating a milk supply for daycare.
5. Breastfeeding is less expensive than formula feeding.
6. Maybe it would be easier since we knew what to expect from having Janie.

So, I got really dedicated to the whole thing.  I asked friends who had nursed successfully for all of their tips and took copious notes.  I read at least three books cover to cover, underlining and inserting Post-It notes.  I wanted to get to the bottom of what I did wrong the first time around so that I could make breastfeeding work with "Baby Boucher 2.0."  Although I had forgiven myself for not being able to breastfeed successfully with Janie, I was still bummed about the whole thing.  We decided we would rent a pump this time around to see if it worked out.  We also invested in a nursing pillow called "My Brest Friend" (who comes up with these names???) to help me get situated during feedings.

We bought a cute nursing cover, but I can't remember if we ended up with a "Hooter Hider" or an "Udder Cover" (more weird names).

We bought some sleep nursing bras and one everyday nursing bra.  We had to special order them because nobody, not even the special lactation consultant who carries "special sizes," had my size!  I should have known that the investment in these items would only add to the guilt if things didn't work out.       

Walt arrived, my perfectly healthy budding linebacker baby, weighing in at 8 lbs. 13 oz.  Like Janie, he ate like a champ and we did everything right according to the lactation consultants and nurses.  I was so optimistic about nursing the second time around.  The delivery (and therefore the recovery) was so much easier, I had more confidence, and I was feeling like I could take on the challenge.  I told Philip how happy I was that we were trying it again.  I tried to make every feeding session be a time of bonding for me and Walt.

My good feelings went away a few weeks later when Walt failed to gain enough weight between pediatrician visits.  Our sweet pediatrician is a mother herself, and her nurse (also a mother) is a certified lactation consultant.  They were both so supportive.  They asked if I would be comfortable having the nurse take a look at me nursing Walt to see if they could troubleshoot.  After taking a look, the nurse said that things looked great.  She gave me all of the advice I heard from my friends and the books:  eat steel-cut oatmeal, put Walt to my breast as often as possible, drink plenty of water, and get plenty of rest (ha!).  We had already reached the point where we were doing hourly feedings, so I was hoping for some kind of magical solution I hadn't heard.

It was in between that pediatrician visit at 2 weeks and the next at 4 weeks that I decided to stop breastfeeding Walt.  I wasn't able to pump more than a one-time record 3.5 oz. from one breast, and Walt wasn't going for more than an hour between feedings.  I was a walking zombie again, but this time I also had Janie to take care of.  I wasn't as good at multi-tasking as this mom or have her handy dandy hands-free bustier:

Miracle of miracles, we timed Walt being born when Philip had some time off between finishing up medical school and beginning his residency, so he was able to be at home and help out for awhile.  Walt was born May 19th, and Philip didn't start resident orientation until the end of June.

Poor Philip received mixed messages from me about how to support me.  I told him before Walt was born that to be the best support, he needed to not let me quit "cold turkey" (or "cold cabbage" as he says!) and move on to the formula.  I told him if it got tough that I'd like to try supplementing first.

Things got tough.  Philip and I had to have another chat on the couch about the status of things.  I, of course, sobbed like I did the first time around.  I told Philip I was miserable.  Philip asked if I wanted to try giving Walt a bottle of formula.  I resisted and told him I wanted to keep trying a combination of pumping and nursing to see if I could get my supply to increase.  I was drinking tons of water, eating the oatmeal, and getting as much rest as possible.  I saw no increase to my supply, and Walt was very hungry.  Philip suggested I take a night off from feeding so that I could recover and get some rest.  He said he'd do the nighttime feedings and give Walt everything I had pumped and supplement with formula if he needed to.  Can I tell you how glorious that night of sleep was?  It was like manna from heaven.  I woke up like this, and I never wake up like this:

Hearing Philip's glowing morning report about how quickly Walt finished off the bottles and how great he slept should have made me happy.  Instead, it made me upset.  Here I was, running myself ragged, trying to supply my baby with as much milk as possible, but he didn't miss me at all overnight!  He finished the bottles in record time and moved on to the formula without batting an eye!  Didn't he need me?!  I held onto that feeling for a day or two before the exhaustion set in again from the hourly feedings.  The crazy, sad, zombie mom returned.

I was doing everything right, but my body wasn't cooperating and I felt like a failure.  On top of that, I was feeling tremendous guilt for not being able to give sweet Janie the attention she needed.  I was feeling so completely tethered.  Walt was eating every hour so I didn't feel like I could leave the house.  Janie was only sixteen months old so she had to be restrained in a stroller if we went anywhere, but she's never been interested in being restrained for any long amount of time.  Besides, I stink at nursing without my awesome pillow and don't have the guts to nurse in public unless it's an emergency and I have to.  Not only do I hate the strangers staring and grossed out looks, but I'm modest and it's really hard to hide my "special size" chest under a cover with (1) a really active baby and (2) a curious toddler who likes to play peek-a-boo with the baby.  I didn't feel like inviting friends over because I didn't have any milk pumped most of the time.  I knew I'd probably have to nurse while they were over, and I didn't think either of us would be comfortable with me nursing in front of them.  Feeling so exhausted, tethered, isolated, and like a failure was rough.

This is how it feels to nurse in public.  Here's a campaign dedicated to raising breastfeeding awareness.

Philip saw me reach my breaking point again and suggested that we stop.  He said to stop feeling any guilt because I had done my best and had gotten a few weeks further with Walt than I did with Janie.  We talked about what a relief formula had been with Janie and how much easier it was and that we needed to change something because Walt wasn't gaining enough weight.  I was wary of trying to supplement too much with formula because it was making my already limited milk supply dwindle.  Ultimately, we decided to end the breastfeeding and start exclusively formula feeding.  Like the first time, it was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.  Walt started sleeping through the night almost instantly, and everyone returned to their usual happy selves.  I was thrilled to be a happy mom again and had the energy to be a mother of two--and so were they.  I harbored guilt for that first week and tried to nurse again, but my milk was gone.  I hate to admit it now, but I think part of me was glad that my body decided for me to end breastfeeding. 

I'm still so happy I tried breastfeeding with both babies.  It was hard for me, but it was so rewarding when I had successful feedings and I could tell that the babies were full.  Breastfeeding is worth fighting for, but I don't think it's worth fighting for if it's making you miserable.  It's not supposed to be miserable or a daily struggle.  Yes, it's hard work and it takes awhile to get the hang of things, but I don't think what I experienced is how it's supposed to go.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to successfully breastfeed my babies.  For now, I plan to breastfeed Baby #3 whenever that time comes.  I'd be thrilled to figure it all out.  I can only imagine the sense of accomplishment I'd have after all of my failings with breastfeeding!  I'm dedicated to trying to make it work with our future babies, but I'm learning that there's much more to being a good mom than whether or not you breastfeed.  

So, after all of my struggles, I want every mom out there to know that she can be a great mom even if she ends up having to formula feed her baby.  If you've figured out a way to make breastfeeding work for you and your baby, you're incredible to me!  What a blessing that you're able to do exactly what God intended for your body and for your baby.  Please, show me the way!  If breastfeeding didn't work for you or if you never tried for whatever reason, it's none of my business, but I think it would be great if every mother at least tried.  That being said, enough with the mean looks for mothers who do have to formula feed for one reason or another.  Maybe they have a health condition, are an adoptive mother, or are babysitting and what you see in that bottle is breast milk.  If I see a mother who is breastfeeding in public, I make it a point to give her an encouraging smile.  I'm all about modesty, and I'm not hoping to see a stranger's breasts, but I think it's a beautiful thing when a mother is able to feed her baby without shame.  More power to her if she's one of those talented moms who can pull it off discretely without a cover!  (How do you do that, anyway?  Is that only possible if you're not "special size"?)   If we'd stop objectifying women so much in this country and viewing their breasts as sex toys, we'd probably be more comfortable with seeing women breastfeed in public and actually think it is beautiful--because it is.     
      
Hopefully by the time Baby #3 comes on the scene I'll be less neurotic, more confident, and the queen of milk production.  If not, Janie and Walt seem to be doing just fine, so I'll try not to beat myself up for the third time if it doesn't work out.  If that's the case, there will inevitably be tears, and I'll probably have to re-read this blog post between tissues, but at least I will be able tell myself that I did the best I could and get on with the business of being a mom.

My Experience With Breastfeeding, aka "I feel like such a failure! I'm a terrible mother!"

I was so thrilled to see another mom write that formula feeding is not an evil thing in this blog post yesterday: Breastfeeding Bullies.  It made me want to share my experience with both nursing and formula feeding, and why I feel that (1) mothers who breastfeed successfully are my heroes, and (2) that mothers who end up formula feeding are not evil.

Breastmilk is Best
First, I should say that I firmly agree with the American Academy of Pediatrics that breastmilk is best for babies.  That's why I chose to breastfeed Janie and, despite it not working out, why I decided to try giving breastfeeding another go around with Walt.  Hubby and pediatrician-in-training Philip is happy I'm on board with this philosophy!  I think a mother who is able to breastfeed her baby successfully for any period of time is doing a wonderful thing.

I loved nursing Janie and Walt.  Not only did I know that my babies were getting all of the awesome health benefits by breastfeeding, but we were bonding in a way that I couldn't replicate with a bottle.  Some of my fondest memories those first few weeks of their lives were rocking them in the nursery and having them doze in and out of sleep against my body as they gazed at me.

Passed out in the nursery with Walt our first day home from the hospital

This is not to say that a mother who does not nurse, an adoptive mother, a father, or any other relative bottle feeding cannot bond with the baby.  Using feeding times for skin to skin contact, singing, or just gazing into one another's eyes is a very powerful experience -- and thank goodness it is, because nursing didn't work out for me with Janie or Walt beyond three or four weeks!

"If it works out, great.  If not, it will be okay."
This was what I told myself my philosophy with breastfeeding would be before Janie arrived.  I should have revised it to, "If it works out, that will be awesome.  If it doesn't, I will remind myself every other minute that I am not a complete failure as a mother."

Tired, Hormonal Women in Pain Do Not Mix Well With Pushy, Hands-On Lactation Consultants or Snarky Nurses
Miracle of miracles, Janie and Walt both arrived perfectly healthy, and both got the hang of nursing right away.  With Janie, I let the lactation consultants in the hospital know that I was committed to nursing in the hopes that they would give me a little space and let me show them what I learned in the breastfeeding class I attended.  A girl can dream, can't she?  Unfortunately, in their excitement to get me nursing, they were so pushy and quite literally hands-on (without asking) that it stressed me out and made me feel like they were critiquing my every move.  I knew they were there to help, but I was a brand new mom, and I wanted that time to figure it out on my own and bond with my new baby.  If I had it to do all over again, I would have just asked them to please leave and that I would call if I needed help.  They said that we had all of the mechanics worked out and that we were doing great, so I didn't understand the need to show up in my hospital room every few hours to "check on things." 

   
Those of you who have had a baby know that needing sleep, sleeping in the same room as a newborn, and being in the hospital don't mix.  I've heard women say that they wish they could stay in the hospital longer after having a baby.  Not me!  I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible both times so that I could get some rest and be back in my own bed.  The constant interruptions made it impossible for me to get any rest, and I need rest to be able to function--let alone nurse.  I had no idea how many interruptions there would be in the hospital!  We only had immediate family come to visit both times, and of course I am thrilled that they all came to meet Janie and Walt.  What shocked me was the number of non-visitor interruptions -- nurses to check on me and the baby (every few hours), the pediatrician the next morning, my doctor the next morning, pushy lactation consultants, the in-hospital baby photographer, food delivery people, etc.  I know they were just doing their jobs, but I nearly reached my breaking point both times in the hospital from these non-visitor interruptions.

With Janie, I nearly reached my breaking point with a pushy lactation consultant.  I had a rough delivery, was in A LOT of pain after, and I was exhausted.  I feel the need to share the details of what happened leading up to meeting this woman so that you might sympathize with me:  I started having painful contractions that woke me up at 6:30 a.m. on Tuesday morning, was in active labor for about 15 hours, had to push for three hours before Jane was born at 11:58 p.m. Thursday, and I didn't get to go to my post-partum room and sleep until about 2:30 a.m. Friday morning.  Yes, that's nearly three days between the start of painful contractions and when Janie was born.  Needless to say, I was exhausted before Janie even arrived and the real work began.  So, on our last day in the hospital, I had had enough of the pain, lack of sleep, and constant interruptions.  When I heard the lactation consultant coming down the hall, I asked Philip to block the door and tell her that we weren't needing her assistance, thank you.  If you were me, you would have asked your husband to tell a pushy broad who wanted to grab your boobs without your permission "no thanks" too, right? 

At least I learned the second time around with Walt to be my own best advocate while in the hospital so we had fewer interruptions and I got more rest.  With Walt, I nearly reached my breaking point with a snarky nurse I had on my last day in the hospital.  We were renting a pump from the hospital, but before we checked out of our room in the hospital, we had to make sure the pump worked.  We went through three different machines that didn't work before we discovered that it was the kit, not the machines, that wasn't working properly.  Having a screaming, hungry baby, being all packed up and ready to go, but having to wait for the lactation consultant to fetch the three different machines and a new kit from the lobby store during this two-hour exit from the hospital grated on my nerves.  So, when the nurse who was supposed to discharge us took her sweet time getting to our room because she was chit chatting in the hall and then made comments like, "He doesn't look comfortable in that carseat.  He looks really mad.  Are you sure he's going to be warm enough?" I thought I'd kill the woman.  Do you notice a trend here?  It's the last day people who received my wrath.  I wanted to say to her, "Of course he's unhappy in the carseat!  He had to wait for you to end your conversation so that we can leave!  Don't you know I'm already a crazy woman with raging hormones?!  I don't need your attitude right now!"  For the record, I think Walt was warm enough.  It was May 19, he had a blanket, it was sunny, and the temperature was in the 70's.   

Hungry and sick of waiting to leave.

This doesn't even look like Walt.  He looks like he was in a prize fight.

The Milk Never Arrived
Despite doing everything I was supposed to, my milk supply never got to where it needed to be.  When days four and five rolled around I was supposed to have the "real" milk, it just didn't come.  With both babies, it got to the point that the babies were eating every hour and would be ravenous an hour later.  Keeping up with that and pumping in between to try and stimulate things ran me ragged--especially the second time around when I was running after Janie and trying to take care of Walt.  No matter what I did and despite my attempts to follow the advice of friends, lactation consultants, and all of the books I read, my supply never increased.  Both Janie and Walt lost weight in the hospital and didn't gain enough back when we got home.  After our visit to the pediatrician,  I was told to supplement with formula.  

So, what did I do?  The level-headed and logical thing, of course.  I agreed with the pediatrician in the office, but as soon as I got in the car, I sobbed, went into hysterics, and told Philip, "I feel like such a failure!  I'm a terrible mother!"  I was a crazy person.

I'll pause here since this is already a long post.  Stay tuned to find out how Philip convinced me that I wasn't a failure or a terrible mother, and find out how I started to actually enjoy motherhood again.

Stuffed Animal Surgery

Janie loves her stuffed animals, but sometimes all of that love translates into wear and tear on the toys.  Poor "Doggy" and Minnie Mouse got a big holes in their tummies and heads, and their stuffing was coming out. 

Fortunately, we have an in-house doctor who could help.  Dr. Phil came to the rescue, and he got a chance to practice his suturing skills--with a needle and thread! 

Check out Dr. Phil in action.  I love how he always sticks his lips out when he's working on something or thinking really hard.  I've noticed that Janie does that, too.

Janie's thrilled that Doggy and Minnie Mouse both made a full recovery after her surgery.  No more stuffing falling out for them!

You know you're married to a pediatric resident when he uses his suturing skills to repair your child's stuffed animal. 

Another time you know you're married to a pediatric resident:  Your Advent calendar marker is a tongue depressor with Pooh stickers on the end.

  

I know you're green with envy!  I mean, really, who doesn't want a tongue depressor marker on their Advent calendar?