My Christmas Planner

In March, I created a Boucher Family Binder to serve as our family's central information hub.  Since creating that binder, life is much more organized and less stressful around here.  To learn more about the forms and information contained in the binder, click on the link.

Much of the formatting I used for my family binder came from ideas in the book House Works: How to Live Clean, Green, and Organized at Home and the author's website OrganizedHome.com. 

When I created the family binder in March, I read about making a Christmas planner notebook to keep Christmas organized.  I finally decided to tackle the project this week, and I am so thrilled I did!

I purchased a 1" red D-ring binder at Walmart with clear pockets so that I could insert some scrapbook papers and stickers from JoAnn's to make it a little more festive.

 

With a lot of brainstorming, I came up with all of the different categories I wanted to include in our family Christmas planner.  I printed off a Table of Contents on some white cardstock and put labels on some plain white dividers.

Some of the forms are adaptations from OrganizedHome.com, others are directly from the site, and others are uniquely my own.  

1.  Budget
I created categories (gifts, charitable giving, decorations/lighting/home, food/entertaining, Christmas card/supplies) to keep the financial end of things organized and in balance.  My hope is that this form will keep the Christmas season financially on-track!  We'll see if I prefer the paper and pen method or want to put it on Excel next year.

2.  Master Gift List
I created this form with spots for your spouse, children, and non-family gift recipients to keep track of what you bought, where you got it, whether you already purchased it or had it delivered, whether you wrapped it, how much it cost, and your running total of how much you spent.

Our family does an adult gift exchange, and the grandchildren exchange a book.  I created a separate form for future years with names to cut out for the draw and a fillable list of the gift givers and gift recipients.  (My version has the family member's names filled in.) 

3.  Stocking Stuffers
Philip and I are still playing around with the idea of starting a tradition with the stockings to make it a little simpler.  We might fill them with winter jammies and a book each year to be opened, worn, and read on Christmas Eve.  That way, there's no need to buy a bunch of little things for each family member!  

For now, I created this form to keep track of all of the little stuffers for each family member to make sure that everyone gets roughly the same amount.

4.  Room-By-Room Décor
To make "decking the halls" and un-decking the halls after the Christmas season less stressful, I created this category and form.  It's a room-by-room guide of what décor I have, where I place it, and where it's stored.  My brilliant husband suggested taking photos of each room and the different arrangements and keeping the photo album in my "Christmas Planner" folder on the computer.  

 
5.  Menus/Recipes
Here's the central hub for the go-to and favorite brunch, dinner, goodies, and other Christmas-related recipes.  I'm in the process of compiling these items, so I don't actually have the forms yet.  I will separate the items by category and include the hard copies of recipes or the websites where they can be found.  I know I will be glad to have all of the recipes finally compiled in one spot!  No more searching for "that one cookie recipe!"

6.  Our Holiday Traditions
This is the place to list and describe the different things your family does that makes Christmas uniquely yours.  For our family, this section includes things like:  how we use the Advent Wreath and Jesse Tree, visiting an area parish's local living Nativity, celebrating St. Nick's day (December 6th), Bernie (Our Catholic Elf on the Shelf), gift exchange, baking goodies for neighbors, singing "Happy Birthday" and eating birthday cake for Jesus, visiting the botanical garden poinsettia display, etc.

7.  Advent Wreath
Philip gave me a beautiful Advent wreath with candles for my birthday (November 26th) last year.  We decided to put the Advent wreath on the kitchen table this year, and we're using Lisa Hendey's O Radiant Dawn: 5-Minute Prayers Around the Advent Wreath to lead our prayers after dinner.    

I also collected and printed off copies of the Christmas songs we sing around the Advent wreath as a family.

8.  Jesse Tree 
I printed off the corresponding Scripture verses (Revised Standard Version) and reflections to read as we place each of the 25 ornaments on our brand new Jesse Tree.  (More to come on that another time!)

9.  Ornament Journal
If you're like me, you struggle to keep straight who gave who which ornament, and you want to remember those little details when you unwrap the treasures that go on your tree.  This is a central hub to record information about those ornaments to (hopefully!) be passed down to future generations.

10.  Holiday Favorites
This form, directly from OrganizedHome.com, is a place to keep track of favorite Christmastime movies, books, music, and a wish list.

11.  Recipes to Try
When I find a recipe I might want to try next year from a magazine, I tear it out and put it in here.  If I see a recipe on Pinterest or somewhere else online, I'll jot down a description of the item and the website where I found it.  If this section gets big enough, I'll categorize the items.

12.  Craft Projects
The place to put fun craft ideas to make with your family.  My Christmas Pinterest page is bringing me all kinds of inspiration.  I'll list the winners in this section!

13.  Entertaining
This is the place to include things like: buffet layout ideas, bar set-up, music playlist names/Pandora stations, Christmas Minute to Win It games, menus, etc.

14.  Christmas Card
We made a Christmas card and included a letter for the past few years.  With all of the chaos of this last month, we didn't get around to making a card or writing a letter, so we sadly won't be sending one this year.  Maybe I'll still write a letter and post it on my blog. 

This section of the planner is the place where I'll archive old letters/cards, store favorites from friends and family, keep the list of recipients, and record prices and shopping information for cards and stationery.

15.  Post-Holiday Debriefing
Perhaps this is the teacher in me that wants to evaluate how things went, but I'm excited about the Christmas debriefing form.  This form, directly from OrganizedHome.com, is the place to "record the highs and lows of the season just past.  Stored in your Christmas planner, it'll guide you toward more satisfying, less stressful holidays next year!"  It includes questions to get you thinking about what worked, what didn't, and what you can do to make next year more enjoyable for you and your entire family.

That's it--for now!  As I use the Christmas planner and celebrate the Christmas season with our family, I'm sure I'll learn that some things in the planner need revision or that we need to add more categories. 

Is there anything you think my Christmas planner is missing?  Please suggest additional categories or any revisions.

I created a Google docs page for anyone interested in using my forms.  You can access all of the forms here and print them off for your own use.  

I hope they help to make your Christmas season more organized and give you time to focus on what really matters--growing in holiness and sharing Christ's love alongside your loved ones as you prepare for Christ's birth.  I hope that you and your family have a blessed Advent and Christmas! 

My 28th Birthday

Last night, after we finished our nightly reading of Magnificat and said our prayers, Philip and I did our nightly check-in to see how the other was doing.  We both said that we were mostly feeling numb and that the sadness is starting to creep in.  Now that we're not consumed with my physical recovery or preparing for Thanksgiving, we have time to process everything that happened this month.  When it was my turn, I rattled off my emotions: 

• I'm sad that we lost our baby, Thérèse.  
• I'm happy that she's our beautiful saint in heaven who can intercede for our family and propel us to meet her there one day.  
• I'm glad we are gathering our family to say the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary and have her buried in a Catholic cemetery. 
• I feel strange just entering into the grief since most people have stopped asking about losing Thérèse, and I suppose I've allowed how other people are acting to determine how I'm feeling.  
• I'm anxious to try to have another baby and impatient with our 3-month waiting period. 
• I'm praying for the ability to be present now and find the graces in this waiting time.
• I'm excited to celebrate Advent with our family.

After blabbering for a few minutes, I sighed and asked Philip to cheer me up.  We were laying on our tummies, facing each other, and he asked, "Want me to play with your hair and tell you sweet things?"  He said how happy he is that we added "God bless baby Thérèse in heaven" to our nighttime prayers so that the children will never remember not praying for her or asking for her intercession.  He said how neat it will be when they are old enough to understand that their sibling is a saint in heaven.  He said how excited he was to celebrate my birthday as a family the next day, and I could tell by his vague description of the day that he had a few surprises up his sleeve.  We gave each other a hug and a kiss and dozed off to sleep.

This morning, I woke up to the smell of coffee and heard the bedroom door open.  I heard Philip whisper, "Tell Mommy, 'Happy Birthday!'"  Little Janie climbed in bed next to me, and Philip stood over my bed, holding Walt.  Janie wished me a happy birthday and gave me a big kiss on the cheek.  

I didn't know it yet, but Philip, sly husband that he is, woke up early, got ready, went out to get donuts (my favorites--apple fritters and long johns), came back, got the kids up and dressed, and the three came in to get me for breakfast.  When I walked out to the kitchen, fresh coffee, milk, and donuts were on the counter next to birthday cards and presents.       

Philip told me to take a seat while he situated the kids and got them started on breakfast.  He handed me my birthday cards to open--one from the kids, and the other from him.  Of course, they both made me tear up!  

Next, Philip told me to open my presents.  I am so excited to announce that I am now the proud owner of a Scotch Thermal Laminator and a huge pack of thermal pouches!  YESSSSS!!!  Laugh all you want, but this mama is over the moon happy about this present.  My ABC 123 Pinterest board full of things to laminate for preschool-ish learning activities and games can now come to fruition!  I can't wait to make all of those fun things.  First on my list is a printable Nativity set to cut out and make into magnets for the fridge.    

Philip had to leave to go to work, so we exchanged hugs and kisses and wished each other a great day.  The kids and I got ready for my young mothers group that meets at our parish on Monday mornings.  As I hopped out of the shower, Janie came to the door to announce, "Mama!  It's SNOWING!"  

Don't mind the beer bottles or coolers.  Our fridge broke, and we're living out of coolers until our new fridge arrives on Thursday!

Sure enough, I walked out to the family room in my wrap towel to see beautiful white snowflakes coming down.  Almost instantly, I teared up.  I knew this little gift was a present from our Little Flower, Thérèse. 


Let me explain the connection...This summer, I started reading St. Thérèse of Lisieux's autobiography, Story of a Soul, on my Kindle Fire.  (By the way, it's a free ebook on Kindle in case you're interested.)  I know that reading her autobiography helped me to develop a fondness for the Little Flower.  

In her autobiography, St. Thérèse recounts the story of her clothing day (one of the steps on her way to entering Carmel and professing her vows as a Carmelite nun).  She writes to "dear Mother," her religious superior who asked her to pen the autobiography as a testament to her sanctity.  The part that instantly stood out in my mind as I watched the snowflakes fall on our deck this morning was the story of her prayer to Jesus, her Bridgegroom, for snow on her clothing day.

Do you remember my telling you, dear Mother, how fond I am of snow?  While I was still quite small, its whiteness entranced me.  Why had I such a fancy for snow?  Perhaps it was because, being a little winter flower, my eyes first saw the earth clad in its beautiful white mantle.  So, on my clothing day, I wished to see it decked, like myself, in spotless white.  The weather was so mild that it might have been spring, and I no longer dared hope for snow.  The morning of the feast brought no change and I gave up my childish desire, as impossible to be realized...

The instant I set foot in the enclosure (the courtyard outside of the Church) again my eyes fell on the statue of the Child Jesus smiling on me amid the flowers and lights; then, turning towards the quadrangle, I saw that, in spite of the mildness of the weather, it was covered with snow.  What a delicate attention on the part of Jesus!  Gratifying the least wish of His little Spouse, He even sent her this.  Where is the creature so mighty that he can make one flake of it fall to please his beloved?

The snowflakes this morning marked the first snow for this winter.  It has been uncharacteristically warm this fall, and the rest of this week looks to be warm as well.  When I saw the flakes falling this morning, tears poured out of my eyes, and I said a silent prayer, thanking God for the beautiful mantle of white to remind me in my sadness that my own Little Flower was still very much with me and interceding for me on my behalf from heaven.  

At the end of my young mothers meeting at church this morning, my dear friend, Nicole, gave me a card and an envelope, wishing me a happy birthday and saying that it was a small gift she knew was meant for me.  We were busy bundling up our kids so she stuck it in my diaper bag and we didn't have a chance to have a real goodbye, but she's the kind of friend who doesn't need a proper goodbye to know that I love her.  

As we walked through the church narthex, I asked the kids if they wanted to "say 'hi' to Jesus in the castle" (Janie's name for the adoration chapel where the consecrated hosts are stored in an ornate tablernacle that looks like a gilded fortress).  We peeked through the glass doors since someone was praying silently inside.  Janie whispered, "Hi, Jesus!" and said she wanted to see "Boy Jesus" (the Child Jesus statue in the church courtyard).  We opened the church doors to reveal a snow-covered courtyard.  Just like on St. Thérèse's clothing day, our own parish statue of the Child Jesus was smiling on us amid the snow-covered flowers.   

When I got home, I opened the beautiful card from my friend that included "a little story" about my present:

I love to vintage shop and was searching on my favorite seller on Etsy.  They listed a vintage Italian Rosary and got me interested right away!  I then see that it has St. Thérèse on it and immediately thought it might be something nice for you.  I order it, and then get this "strange" feeling.  I look up on Google, what is the Emerald the birthstone for (the stones used in the vintage Rosary) and find out MAY!  (Thérèse was due in May.)  I said a prayer of thanks as I truly felt your little angel saying that "This is something my momma needs!"  I hope you can use this during times of sorrow, joy, peace and growth to remember your blessing of Thérèse in prayer.  Love you!

 
I know I will be praying the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary with my family in honor of Thérèse with this beautiful gift. 
   
The most important lesson I learned this year is that God is Love and that He knows better than I ever will what is best for me or my loved ones.  Good Father that He is, He won't always give me what I ask for, and if He does, it won't necessarily be on my timeline.  Nonetheless, I am learning to place my trust in His will for me and my family.  The simple prayer, "Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in You," got me through losing Thérèse, and I know it will get me through the rest of my life. 

Much like the anonymous Confederate soldier who wrote "A Soldier's Prayer," I feel "almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am among all men most richly blessed."

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve,

I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey....
I asked for health, that I might do greater things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things....
I asked for riches, that I might be happy,
I was given poverty, that I might be wise....
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God....
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things....
I got nothing that I asked for -
but everything that I had hoped for,
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among all men most richly blessed.

Thank you to my dear friends and family for lifting me up and bringing my life countless blessings.  You were the Body of Christ to me this last month--His lips in your sweet words of truth, His feet when you came to visit, His arms in your embraces, His hands in your preparation of meals or care for our children.  I pray that I may somehow reveal the Body of Christ to you in my 28th year and beyond.    

Thanksgiving

We spent Thanksgiving day with Philip's family.  It was a wonderful, relaxing day full of great conversation and fantastic food.  Unfortunately, we forgot our camera at home, so we don't have any pictures to share.  Many thanks to Philip's wonderful family for hosting us and for a delicious meal.  I always knew I loved Philip's family, but with each year, I feel like I am truly a part of their family as an adoptive daughter, and I love them.  

On Saturday, Philip and I hosted my side of the family at our home for Thanksgiving round two.  We opted for the traditional fare.  I wish I took more pictures of all of the beautiful food!  It was a feast to remember.  With nearly five years of marriage under our belts, Philip and I are getting the hang of hosting family events.  We made a great team getting the house and food ready for the big day.  

Our contributions in the food/drink department included Honeycrisp Apple Sangria, Turkey (combo of Martha Stewart and Pioneer Woman strategies), Green Bean Casserole, and Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie.  

Straining the Honeycrisp Apple Sangria.  Yummmmm!

This photo is from Nutmeg Nanny, the blog where I found the recipe for Honeycrisp Apple Sangria.  I forgot to take a picture of the glasses with the cinnamon/sugar rims.  Delish!

Philip totally dominated our 19-pound turkey.  He brined it overnight, basted the heck out of it, and used a cheesecloth.

Chocolate bourbon pecan pie, photo from Southern Living.  This and pumpkin pie are in a dead tie in my book.

The Paula Deen green bean casserole used fresh green beans and mushrooms.  I'm never going back to the canned version again!

The rest of our family brought beer, wine (hooray for a bar-owning brother!), appetizers (my sister-in-law could have fed the entire army with her smorgasboard of delicious nibbles!), rolls, gravy, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie, and birthday cake.

Instead of going completely formal or informal, I opted for somewhere in between.  As host and hostess, we insisted that everyone wear jeans and be comfy.  We had ten adults, but we wouldn't all fit around our dining room table, so Philip and I moved the furniture around.  We moved the dining room table out to the front living room and added on a small table to the end.  I said to heck with cloth napkins and opted for paper.
 

 

For centerpieces, we went simple but elegant.  I used my grandmother's old lace tablecloth on the dining table, bought a new ivory one for the side table to complement it, and ran a cranberry-colored table runner down the middle.  We got some new taper candles and filled mason jars with greenery from our backyard bushes, cranberries, and floaty candles.

  
We moved the loveseat that usually sits in the front living room into the dining room.  The five older cousins sat at a card table in the dining room next to the buffet.

The "babies" sat at the kitchen table in their boosters, above the linoleum floor, and away from the carpet.  Barney had to join them.
 

 
Unfortunately, our fridge died on us an hour before my family arrived.  The good news was that it was a chilly afternoon/evening, so we were able to keep the foods that needed to be refrigerated cool on the deck in coolers or on top of our patio furniture.  Classy, right?

Had our fridge died on us a year or two ago, I probably would have cried or panicked.  Recent events helped us to keep things in perspective and remember that we're blessed to even have a Thanksgiving feast at all. 

To conclude our feast, we sang happy birthday to the November birthdays (myself included) and had some dessert and coffee.  

 Walt loved the birthday cake in his jammes!  I think he looks like the Gerber baby in this shot.

After dessert, we drew names for our annual Christmas book/gift exchange.  The grandchildren draw names and exchange a book.  The adults draw names and exchange a present with an agreed upon price limit.  

We took a little time to digest and rinse off a few dishes before moving on to my favorite portion of the evening--game time.  The grandkids cuddled up on the couch and watched movies in the family room while the adults played Catch Phrase and Guesstures around the table.  I am pleased to report that the ladies handily beat the boys at both games.  

The dudes.  I think Philip is stiff-arming a nephew to keep him out of the shot...

Fuzzy but cute group shot of most of the group.  My ten-year-old nephew is a good photographer!

What a fun and blessed holiday weekend!  I hope you and your family had an equally fun time celebrating with your loved ones.

Bernie, our Catholic Elf on the Shelf

Do you know about the Elf On The Shelf?

Year after year, children and adults alike are baffled by the mystery of how Santa really knows who’s been naughty or nice. After much urging by the elves and Mrs. Claus, Santa has allowed his biggest secret to be revealed in The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition. At the start of each Christmas season, the elf appears to serve as Santa's eyes and ears, traveling back to the North Pole each and every night to make a detailed report of the day’s activities. This keepsake gift set includes a light skin, blue eyed boy North Pole pixie scout elf and a hardbound watercolor picture book. Children can register their elf online to receive an official adoption certificate and a special letter from Santa. 

We ordered our Elf on the Shelf last week, and he arrived yesterday afternoon during naptime.  Many families' elves make their appearances on Thanksgiving.  Our elf, Bernie, made his appearance on top of the refrigerator Wednesday night after dinner.   

Janie immediately spotted him.  "What's THAT?!"

We explained that he is one of Santa's elves and that his name is Bernie.  He will come everyday to watch Janie and Walt, and he will leave at the end of each day to report their behavior to Santa--good and bad.  When the kids wake up each day until Christmas, they will find Bernie in a new spot throughout the house.  (They'll find him tomorrow morning perched on top of the family room television.) 

If parents are feeling really creative, they can find some fun ways to pose their elves throughout the house with a simple Google search.

After Christmas, Bernie returns to the North Pole to work at Santa's workshop until the next year.  However, depending on how the year goes until next Thanksgiving, I envision Bernie making surprise appearances to remind our children that their behavior (good and bad) matters outside of the Christmas season. 

Philip and I keep revisiting the conversation of how we will balance the secular and religious as Christmas approaches.  We decided there was no harm in bringing Santa to our home, having fun with an elf named Bernie that encourages good behavior, and watching our children's anticipation of Christmas build.  

Nonetheless, we decided we didn't want them to think of Bernie the elf merely as a behavior monitor and the means of receiving gifts from Santa.  We thought we'd add to Bernie's responsibilities by making him the messenger of the meaning of Christmas.  When we introduced the kids to Bernie tonight, we explained that Christmas is an exciting time to prepare for baby Jesus' birthday and that Bernie will help us to learn about Jesus and His family.  Bernie works for Santa, and Santa loves Jesus.  That is the vision of Santa we hope to build for our children.  We want them to think of Santa as a kind old man who adores the Christ Child and blesses good children who love the Lord.  Bernie the elf might work for Santa, but Santa works for Jesus.

Statue from CatholicSupply.com

To help teach Janie and Walt about Christmas, Bernie will present the children with a Little People's nativity scene on Sunday morning.  

We are buying our Little People nativity scene this Saturday during Small Business Saturday at our participating area Catholic bookstore.  We want the children to be able to touch and play with the "big players" present at Christ's birth so that they can better understand the story, and Bernie will introduce them to the children.

To help our children learn more about what Christmas is all about, Bernie the elf will deliver the ornaments for our Jesse Tree, the star for the top of our Christmas tree, and the Christ Child from the nativity scene.  Bernie will join us to light the Advent Wreath, read Scripture, and pray at the dinner table.  He will sit with us as we gather around the Nativity scene to sing Christmas carols.  He will bring us invitations to go to special Christmas events such as a local parish's living Nativity scene (complete with live animals).  He will put out the ingredients to make the Christ Child a birthday cake to eat on Christmas Eve.  (Maybe he'll even make a snow angel in the flour on the countertop!) 

We look forward to incorporating the Elf on the Shelf into our Christmas season in a fun, unique way for our family.  We're committed to keeping the excitement and fun a factor for our children, but we want to balance it with the reason we are celebrating Christmas--Christ Himself. 

What is your family doing during the Christmas season?  Do you have any special or unique traditions that you would like to share?  How do you balance the secular and the religious in your home? 

Rethinking My To-Do List

When I was in teachers college, several of my professors told me, "Good teachers borrow, and great teachers steal."  Now that I'm at home,  I'm learning that women far wiser and far ________er (fill in the blank with several other adjectives), have been perfecting the art of homemaking before I came on the scene.  Instead of reinventing the wheel, I'm learning to steal from the best and adapt their advice for our family.

I'm currently reading Graced and Gifted: Biblical Wisdom for the Homemaker's Heart by Kimberly Hahn.  It's a great nuts and bolts book on living out the vocation of motherhood with the work ethic of Martha and the loving heart of Mary. 

While getting back into our "regular" routine around here, I'm learning to rethink how I go about my day.  I am a notorious list maker, and I loved making my "daily do-it list."  The trouble was, I rarely accomplished most items on the list for the day, and by lunchtime, I was so frustrated by my inability to accomplish that day's goals.  My inability to check off most items boiled down to poor planning, poor time management, and unrealistic expectations.  

Here's how I used to make my daily do-it lists:  I separated the items into AM and PM and ranked them in the order I hoped to accomplish them.  If I didn't complete the AM items by lunch time, I tried working on them in the PM, but I became so discouraged by naptime that I either (1) didn't allow myself a break and trudged on through to dinnertime, or (2) gave myself a "break" that often turned into an hour-long Pinterest session.  On the days when I trudged on through to dinnertime, I was irritable and impatient.  On the days when I indulged on a ridiculously long "break" during naptime, I felt even worse afterward.

Fortunately, wise women like Kimberly Hahn are able to help young mamas like myself get back on track and figure out how to order our days in a practical way.  She has some fantastic tips in a chapter on time management in Graced and Gifted that I encourage you to read on your own.  I'll summarize the main points that are helping me to order my days.

Start Your Day in Prayer
Kimberly recommends rising before your family to start your day in prayer.  Rise before the children so that you are able to collect your thoughts, greet our Lord in prayer, and gain insight into what His will is for your day.  When we wake with our children, we are in fire-drill mode, putting out fires at every turn.  Rising before the children and beginning the day in prayer changes the start of the day for the entire family.  

Starting the day with prayer is essential.  Kimberly Hahn says,

Placing our trust in the Lord at the outset of the day helps us to set the plans for the day and yet allow for flexibility.  We can start the day on Plan A and feel as if we are on Plan E by breakfast!  I remind myself daily, There is all the time I need today to do God's will today.  Prayer is an essential part of that reminder.  We are not coming to God and telling him our agenda: rather we are coming to share our hearts and hear his.

As mothers, we live in what Kimberly Hahn calls an "apostolate of interruption."  It's a humbling vocation when we realize that we aren't able to get everything accomplished that we want to everyday precisely because of these interruptions.  When she encounters these interruptions, Kimberly Hahn tries to think of Christ himself asking her to perform whatever favor being asked.  After all, our lives as wives and mothers uniquely allows us to build up the Body of Christ in our ability to serve others.  We might as well start viewing those in our sphere as Christ himself to embolden us to live out this mission. 

Plan for the Week Ahead

Set aside some time Sunday night to look at the calendar, plan for upcoming events, and assign tasks to different days.  Philip and I adopted this practice Sunday night and had a mini "family meeting."  We pulled out the calendar, made sure we had everything written down, discussed tasks we would like the other to complete, troubleshooted scheduling problems, and looked ahead to the following weeks to see if there were any events (i.e., hosting Thanksgiving) that we needed to start preparing for.  

Plan for Each Day
Since our "family meeting" Sunday night, I spend about 15 minutes each evening creating the following day's to-do list.  I gather the calendar (which we are in the process of putting exclusively onto the computer and syncing with our phones), my small tablet notebook, a pen, and my journal.  I tear off the previous day's list and add items that I did not complete, delegate, or eliminate.  I adopted Kimberly Hahn's practice she learned in spiritual direction with Father Michael Scanlan.  I list each item that I would like to complete.  Across the top of the page, I write the following:

A means Act today; B means Best if I could do it today; C means Could do it this week if possible; D means Delegate it to someone else; and E means Eliminate it.

I review my list and assign each task a letter, A-E, to the left of the margin.  If I have more than one item with the same letter, I assign numbers after the letter (i.e., A1, A2).  If I assign a task to delegate to Philip, I mention it to him and ask him which day he will be working on that item.  This helps me to stop thinking about the task because I delegated it, Philip chooses a day to work on it, and I know that he will be working on that item when he comes home from work, so I can adjust accordingly to give him the time he needs in the evening. 

I started using this system Sunday night, and it is working so well for me.  I am much more practical about what I am able to accomplish each day, I am better at delegating tasks when necessary, and I am spending much more time playing with the children than doing things around the house.  I feel more energized, my housekeeping schedule helps to maintain order, and all members of the family are happy in the balance of an ordered home.   

Bring Your To-Do List to Prayer
During your prayer time, review your to-do list.  Ask God to reveal what His will is for your day and to help you eliminate, delegate, and better prioritize the items on your list.  I quoted this line from Kimberly Hahn already above, and I'm going to quote it again because I need to tattoo it to my forehead:  "I remind myself daily, There is all the time I need today to do God's will today."  By taking my to-do list to prayer, God gives me greater insight into what I really need to be doing with the gift of time that he gives me and what I should be doing with it.  I may not be checking off as many items these days, but my time is much better spent doing God's will than mine.  

Adjust for "Changes in the Seasons of Life"
In full disclosure, I'm not rising before the children--yet.  I hope to be there in a few more weeks once I am back to 100% physically and the kids are waking up a little later after they (in theory) adjust to Daylight Savings Time.  Philip is on a more flexible rotation this month, so he's been able to get the children changed and fed before he leaves for work, and after he leaves, I make myself some breakfast and spend 10-15 minutes in quiet prayer with my to-do list while the children play quietly in the family room.  It's not a perfect system, but it's working for now, and I'm letting myself off the hook since this is what Kimberly Hahn calls a "change in the seasons of life."

It seems like such a no-brainer, but I had to triple-star the margin of the book when Kimberly Hahn reminded me that it's an impossible task to finish everything every night.  To emphasize this point, she reminded me that even "Jesus yielded his will to his Father.  He accepted the limitations of his human body, which needed food and sleep.  He trusted his Father's timing, and so must we."

How Do You Order Your Day?
That's what's working for this mama these days.  I'd love to hear what works for you!  Please share in the comment box.  

How's your prayer life?  Are you starting your days in prayer?  What materials (if any) do you bring to your prayer time?  What tools do you use to keep order in your home?  Do you have an electronic calendar or planner with special software?  Do you have a housekeeping schedule?   

"It is Right and Just"

Philip's parents generously offered to take the kids Saturday afternoon and bring them home Sunday afternoon so that we could have some much-needed time together.  For the first time in a long time, we went to Mass without our children on a Sunday morning.  Perhaps it was because we didn't have our children around, or perhaps it was because I needed to hear God Sunday morning, but I felt like every single word of the Mass was meant for me today.

We arrived uncharacteristically early and had plenty of time to focus our minds in prayer before Mass began.  I prayed for God to open my ears to hear His Word and to receive the message intended for me.  I told God that I was anxious about the start of a new week.  Sunday marked one week from my visit to the ER for severe blood loss that resulted in an emergency D&C.  I prayed for God to help me to find patience, strength, and compassion toward others, especially Philip, our children, other family members, and our dear friends as we get back into our regular routine without Thérèse.  I told God that I will need Him to help me to give to others in love even when I am hurting.  I asked God to shoulder my worries that are either too big for me to handle or I am unable to do anything about.  

As I sat back in our pew, waiting for Mass to begin, I found myself staring at the crucifix above the altar.  I normally don't pay much attention to the figures at Our Lord's feet, but Sunday morning, I kept focusing on the faces of the Blessed Mother and the Apostle John.  For whatever reason, their faces struck me.  I kept thinking, "This must be the moment of greatest sorrow in their lives, but instead of looking into their hands or at the ground, they keep looking right at Him."   

Photo of our Church sanctuary

As warm tears started to spill uncontrollably out of my eyes, I imitated the Blessed Mother and the Apostle John at Jesus' feet.  I kept my gaze on our crucified Lord.  Philip handed me a stack of tissues that he fetched when he saw me tearing up, and people filled in all around us.  I tried not to break focus through the tears.  I prayed as I gazed into his sorrowful face.  "Please, help me to love--even when it hurts." 

The choir leader asked us to open our hymnals to "Here I am, Lord."  I tend to get emotional during certain hymns at Mass anyway, but hearing the words in this song so soon after losing Thérèse overwhelmed me.  

I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard my people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin
My hand will save.
I who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear my light to them?
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.  

I, the Lord of snow and rain,
I have borne my people's pain.
I have wept for love of them.
They turn away.
I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak my Word to them.
Whom shall I send?

As we sang, I thought, "I want to do Your will, but I need You to keep leading me.  I am sorry for the times that I have turned away from You and caused You pain.  Please break this heart of stone, and keep breaking this heart of stone until I have a 'heart for love alone.'"    

The Liturgy of the Word began, and I asked God to open my ears to hear His Word.  In the First Reading (1 Kings 17:10-16), we heard about a poor widow and her son that were starving to the point of death.  The prophet Elijah approached her, asking for a morsel of bread.  She responded that she was going home to prepare their last meal and die.  Elijah says to her, "Fear not; go and do as you have said; but first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make for yourself and your son."  At this point, I had to re-read the passage to make sure I heard it correctly.  This poor widow told Elijah that she was going home to prepare a last meal for herself and her son before they died, and Elijah responded by asking her to bring him "a little cake" before going on home to die?!  Nonetheless, we hear that the woman goes home and does exactly that, and "she, and he, and her household ate for many days."  Talk about faithfulness!

In the Psalm (Psalm 146: 7-10), we heard that the Lord executes justice for the oppressed, gives food to the hungry, sets prisoners free, opens the eyes of the blind, lifts up those who are bowed down, loves the righteous, etc. and that He will reign forever for all generations.    

In the Second Reading (Hebrews 9:24-28), we heard about Christ being "offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him."  At this point in the Mass, I realized that Christ's face will be the first that Thérèse will see.  Blessed be God forever!

In the Gospel Reading (Mark 12:38-44), we heard that Christ sat down opposite the treasury and invited His disciples to observe the wealthy and the poor put in their contributions.  He pointed out a widow putting in two copper coins, and said to His disciples, "Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.  For they all contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, her whole living."

I tried to piece the message together for myself, but the priest saying Mass gave a homily that I hope will stay with me forever.  "It's easy to give when we're happy and things are going well.  If I win a million dollars, maybe I'll give ten thousand dollars to a charity, and maybe I'll feel really good about myself.  If I'm having a good day, it's easy to be patient with my children.  Those of you who are parents know that it's a lot more difficult to be patient and loving toward your children when you're having a bad day.  Or, wives and husbands, employees and bosses, etc."  At this point, I thought the priest was talking directly to me.  I was anxious about my ability to be loving and patient to others as I started a "back to normal" week without Thérèse.  I knew I'd be hurting but that I'd need to go on doing my job as a wife and mother.

The priest turned to the readings and seamlessly strung them together.  He said that the poor widow on the First Reading (1 Kings 17:10-16) and the Gospel (Mark 12:38-44) both "gave in their want."  They gave until it hurt.  They gave in pain, in loving obedience, and in complete trust that the Lord would reward them.  

He said when we're hurting and we're having a bad day, we won't have the strength to love in this way unless we pray for the ability to do it.  He said it's "going into overdrive.  You have to shift the gears in your car when you're going up a mountain, and you have to shift into overdrive when you're going up your own personal mountains."  Bring on the tears!  Here I was, going up my biggest personal mountain yet.  "It's easy to give in times of surplus, but it's when we give in our want that God really rewards us."  God knew I needed to give to my family in this time of want and that I needed Him to help me shift into overdrive.  

The Mass continued, and I felt an overwhelming peace come over me.  The Liturgy of the Eucharist began, and we prayed the Eucharistic preface.
  
Priest:     The Lord be with you.
People:   And with your spirit.
Priest:     Lift up your hearts.
People:   We lift them up to the Lord.
Priest:     Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.
People:   It is right and just.     (emphasis mine)

Since we started using the new translation last Advent, I've been struck by the response "It is right and just."  Until last Sunday's readings and Father's homily, I hadn't internalized what the words "right and just" really meant or why we would say those words in preparation for receiving the Eucharist.  

Then it hit me.  I started a little internal monologue.

Of course it's "right" to give thanks to God and lift up our hearts to Him, but why are we talking about it being "just"?  

Well, what's the virtue justice mean anyway?  

Justice is giving to others what is due to them.   

If God is our Creator and Love itself, then of course it's just to worship Him.   

So, why emphasize that it's "right and just" to "give thanks to the Lord our God"?

If God is our all-knowing Creator and Love itself, then of course He knows what is best for us--even when it doesn't make sense to our tiny little brains.

God loves Thérèse even more than I do, and my heart aches that I can't have the life I envisioned with her, but God knows that this hurt is for a greater good.  I might not understand it all now, and that's okay, but in the meantime, it is "right and just" for me to "give thanks to the Lord our God" in my want.  Like the widows in the readings, I need to "give (thanks) in my want" and remember that it is "right and just" to "give thanks to the Lord our God."   

How appropriate that I pieced the meaning of this prayer in preparation for the Eucharist, the source and summit of our faith, which interestingly enough, actually means "thanksgiving."  Approaching that summit, I envisioned myself in that car "shifting into overdrive" like Father talked about in his homily.  As I approached Christ in the Eucharist Sunday, I gave to Him in my want.  I cried tears for our baby Thérèse, and I prayed, "God, in my want, accept our sweet Thérèse into Your heavenly kingdom.  Help me to give thanks to You in my want, and help me to make my own life an offering to you."  

With that thought in mind, the choir director asked the congregation to open their hymnals to "The Cry of the Poor" for the Communion Hymn.

The Lord hears the cry of the poor.
Blessed be the Lord.

I will bless the Lord at all times.
With praise every in my mouth.
Let my soul glory in the Lord.
Who will hear the cry of the poor.

This time, I cried tears of joy in the knowledge that our loving God heard the cry of this poor servant.