Thursday, April 12, 2012

Picking Up Mommy Friends (Part 1)

When I started staying at home full-time, I felt very isolated.  I didn't have many friends who were moms, and I had even fewer friends who were moms that stayed at home.


Philip's busy at the hospital, and it's not uncommon for him to be unable to call during the day.  When we do connect, our visits are limited to a quick check-in, and I'm usually chasing after someone or in the middle of some housework.


During the week, I tend to get so focused on completing my daily do-it list and playing with the kiddos that some days it'll be 5:30 p.m., Philip's calling on his way home, and I realize I haven't talked to anyone other than Janie or Walt all day.  Shooting off a quick e-mail, responding to a Facebook message, or sending a text to check in with a friend has become my default rather than making a phone call during the day.  Perhaps if I had a sweet headset I'd be more likely to call friends and family as I fold laundry, unload dishes, or do something else.  I'd feel too guilty sitting on the couch in the middle of the day, chatting away.  I don't pick up the phone because either the person I'm going to call is at work or is another stay-at-home mom and I don't want to interrupt precious naptime when she's able to get things done or have quiet time.


E-mailing, Facebook, and texting can all be wonderful, but unless there's a real relationship there that's maintained by regular face-to-face interactions, it remains a superficial way to communicate.  So, feeling isolated and in need of more mom friends, I decided to develop the art of picking up moms.


I am quickly learning that a good mom friend is invaluable.  She's right in the trenches with you, she shares her tricks, she offers a helping hand, she listens on the rotten days, she shares her horror stories, she offers her prayers, she reminds you that taking care of yourself is not selfish, she makes you feel like a good mom, she leaves you feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the laundry.




So, if you're not blessed to have these women magically fall into your life or transition with you from singledom to marriage and into parenthood, you have to make it happen.  They're not going to ring on your doorbell with a plate of cookies and ask you for a playdate.  You've gotta get out there, get in touch with your mommy pick up skills, and convince these mamas that you and your children are worth getting to know better.


So, how do you do it?  I'd say it comes down to a few basic steps:
  1. Get out and go where the mamas and children are 
  2. Observe the mamas and children in action
  3. Strike up a conversation with the awesome mamas
  4. Suggest meeting up again
I'll write about my experience with picking up moms for playdates and how I've done those 4 steps in my next post.  Stay tuned! 

    Tuesday, April 10, 2012

    Walt's First Haircut

    We took the kids to get haircuts last week.  The worst part of Walt's day everyday is getting cleaned up after meals.  He loves bathtime, but if splashing water is not involved, he's not a fan of being handled.  Unfortunately, he wasn't fond of the haircut either.  


    Watch the progression of Walt's emotions


    Curiosity
    Confusion
    Terror
    Extreme terror
    Desperation and escape attempt
    Janie shows off her sucker while Walt finally submits to the haircut in exhaustion
    Sibling shot at home
    Have a hug, bro.  It's all over.

    Monday, April 9, 2012

    Spring Has Sprung!

    I've been taking pictures of our burning bushes and lilac bush since they started blooming a few weeks ago.  It's incredible how quickly the blooms explode!  



    The burning bush





    The lilac bush






        



    I've always considered it a blessing to live in the northern hemisphere where the climate naturally lends itself to the liturgical calendar.  Say whhhhhaaaaaaaat, crazy Catherine?  Hear me out.

    I'm a visual learner and, well, I can be pretty dense, so it's helpful that my natural surroundings mirror what's happening in the Church calendar.  

    In the fall, we have the beautiful burst of color before the plant life begins to die and fade into winter.  In the wintertime of Advent, while we're waiting for the Light of the World to arrive on Christmas Day, the days become increasingly shorter until the winter solstice on December 21. 

    Just when we're getting the hang of celebrating Christ's birth, we enter the season of Lent, where we prepare for his Passion.  The season of self-denial is mirrored in the stark, brown landscape.  As we approach Holy Week, there are signs of life again outside.  The plants and trees start to bud, and the birds sing in the early morning.  We even get the beautiful Easter Lilies, announcing with their big, trumpet-like petals that Christ is Risen!  Alleluia!  

    Throughout the late spring and into summer when nature is in full bloom, we get to celebrate the month of Mary in May, Divine Mercy Sunday, Ascension, the Church's birthday on Pentecost, Trinity Sunday, Corpus Christi, and the Assumption of Mary. 

    Pretty cool, huh? 

    Happy Easter!

    You might have noticed that the name of my blog is a reference to Blessed Pope John Paul II's quote:  "Do not abandon yourselves to despair.  We are the Easter people, and hallelujah is our song."  So, you might have guessed that Easter's a pretty big deal for this household!  


    It was a fun day with our little bunnies.  Here's how we celebrated:  


    Bunnies after the egg hunt in the living room
    Running her new vacuum in her Easter dress.  Kinda looks like a 50's housewife, huh?
    Playing with new blocks and a bath boat
    Reading her new Bible
    Family pic after Mass
    Walt is so excited that Christ is risen!  Jane's ready for nap time.
    Trying to keep Walt upright
    Egg hunt with the cousins
    What's Easter without a trampoline jump with your buddies?
    Giving Grandma a check-up
    My sweet "little" guy
    Celebrating Mass at our beloved home parish, watching the kids hunt for eggs, spending time with family, and eating some amaaaaaaaaaaazing food added up to one fantastic day.  

    Happy Easter!   

    Wednesday, April 4, 2012

    The Fifth Station: Simon of Cyrene Helps Jesus to Carry the Cross

    Shameless Popery is a great blog I read from time to time through the National Catholic Register.  The author has been compiling reflections on the Stations of the Cross, and the reflection on the Fifth Station really spoke to me.

    The Fifth Station:  Simon of Cyrene Helps Jesus to Carry the Cross.

    Statue in Vietnam portraying Simon helping Christ carry the cross.  Taken from:  http://www.hcmctoday.com/2009/04/i-saw-this-beautiful-tugboat-as-i.html
    To make sure Christ didn't die on his one-mile trek to his place of crucifixion, the soldiers picked Simon the Cyrenian out of the crowd to help Jesus carry His cross.  As Pope Benedict XVI says in his reflection on the Fifth Station, Simon "does what he must do, but reluctantly. Significantly, the Evangelist Mark does not only name him, but also his children, who were evidently known as Christians and as members of that community (cf. Mk 15:21). From this chance encounter, faith was born." 

    When I heard the Stations of Cross as a child on Fridays during Lent, I thought Simon was kind of a jerk.  I mean, here's Jesus, beaten beyond recognition, and you're annoyed that you have to help the guy carry the cross he's going to be murdered on?  C'mon!  What's wrong with you?!  This is GOD!

    I didn't realize that I was still being called to carry Christ's cross everyday.  I thought it was an interesting part of the story, but I didn't see how I could participate in shouldering the cross.  As I enter into adulthood, I am seeing the countless opportunities I receive throughout my days to help shoulder the cross, but I'm too much of a blockhead to do it most of the time.

    Thank goodness for the beautiful words and reflections of the Holy Fathers and blessed people like Mother Angelica.  Mother Angelica wrote and recited a reflection on "The Way of the Cross" for her order of nuns.  I'd like to share her reflection on the Fifth Station:
    My Jesus, Your tormentors enlisted a Simon of Cyrene to help You carry Your Cross.  Your Humility is beyond my comprehension.  Your Power upheld the whole universe and yet You permit one of Your creatures to help You carry a cross.  I imagine Simon was reluctant to take part in Your shame.  He had no idea that all who watched and jeered at him would pass into oblivion while his name would go down in history and eternity as the man who helped his God in need.  Is it not so with me, dear Jesus?  Even when I reluctantly carry my cross as Simon did, it benefits my soul.

    If I keep my eyes on you and watch how You suffered, I will be able to bear my cross with greater fortitude.  Were you trying to tell all those who suffer from prejudice to have courage?  Was Simon a symbol of all those who are hated because of race, color, and creed?

    Simon wondered as he took those beams upon his shoulders, why he was chosen for such a heavy burden and now he knows.  Help me Jesus, to trust Your loving Providence as You permit suffering to weave itself in and out of my life.  Make me understand that You looked at it and held it fondly before You passed it on to me.  You watch me and give me strength just as You did Simon.  When I enter Your Kingdom, I shall know as he knows, what marvels Your Cross has wrought in my soul.  Amen.       
    I have a sweet nephew who happens to be named Simon.  When he was younger, a teacher took his class to the school church where she showed the young children the Stations of the Cross.  When my sister picked Simon up from school that day, he was thrilled to tell her all about the part that he, Simon, had played in Jesus' Passion. 

    "Mom!  Jesus fell down, and I told him, 'Get up, Jesus!  Get up!'" 

    Lord, help me to love You like a child--simply and completely.  Give me an eager and willing heart to help you shoulder Your cross.  Please help me to enter into the Lenten season with the innocent love of a child, who pictures himself truly there, telling Jesus to get up and helping Him along His way.  

    Tuesday, April 3, 2012

    The Myth of the Liberal/Conservative Catholic

    In an interview for a teaching position at a Catholic high school, the principal wanted to gauge where I stood theologically.  To find out, the principal asked, "You're not one of those conservative Catholics, are you?"

    Knowing full well that this principal was getting at, I carefully crafted my response.  "I'm not exactly sure what you mean by 'conservative Catholic.'  If you're asking if I will be faithful to Church Teaching as a Catholic teacher, then my answer is absolutely."  

    Just last week, an acquaintance asked me how I would respond to accusations that Fr. Barron's Catholicism Series was "too conservative."  A few years wiser than I was in my conversation with the high school principal, I responded more resolutely.  Being a Catholic Answers podcast junkie, I borrowed a response a routinely hear from host Patrick Coffin.  I said, "I'm allergic to labels like that when we're talking about Catholicism.  It's not necessary.  Either something is faithful to Church Teaching or it isn't.  Fr. Barron's Catholicism Series is faithful.  Period.  My hunch is if the series makes a Catholic uncomfortable, that Catholic is questioning something the series asserts that's against their individual, unfaithful theology."
     
    The media likes to pit the "liberal Catholics" against the "conservative Catholics."  We saw these labels bandied about after the death of Blessed Pope John Paul II.  The "expert" religion reporters offered that the college of cardinals might favor a "less conservative" pope after JPII.  To their obvious dismay, "God's rottweiler" aka Pope Benedict XVI, an "ultra conservative," succeeded him.  "So much for the Church coming out of the Dark Ages!" we heard.   

    Now, we hear how the "liberal Catholics" hope that the "conservative Catholics" will "get with the times" as the Supreme Court deliberates over Obamacare and the HHS Mandate.  

    Inserting the label "liberal" or "conservative" before "Catholic" seems to confuse people into believing that the same labels used in the political arena have any business in a theological discussion.  The Church isn't a democracy, and I say thank goodness it isn't!  

    We Catholics take for granted the immense pressure on non-Catholic Christian leaders that our parish pastors never need to struggle with.  Pastor Bob at 9th Street Open Arms Church has to be his own pope, so to speak.  He decides the direction of the church's theology and finds himself in a big pickle if he changes his mind down the road.  

    Imagine the agony for a pastor and his congregation when he makes the swim across the Tiber and converts to Catholicism.  He has to humbly admit to his congregation that he, as the leader of their church, is walking toward what they see as the enemy.  Pentecostal minister Alex Jones had such an experience when he and much of his congregation decided to join the Catholic Church.
    "To them, I have apostasized into error. And that's painful for me because we all want to be looked at as being right and correct, but now you have the stigma of being mentally unbalanced, changeable, being looked at as though you've just walked away from God."
    Jones said when his group was considering converting, prayer groups were formed to stop them. "People fasted and prayed that God would stop us from making this terrible mistake. When we did it, it was as though we had died."
    If Alex Jones had been a Catholic priest, he wouldn't have had that pressure.  Here's the beauty of Catholicism:  The Church doesn't have the power to change Truth or Tradition.  She simply cannot.  Period.  The Church might be full of unworthy humans with all kinds of embarrassing blunders throughout Her history.  Nonetheless, Christ blessed His Church with the presence of the Holy Spirit and the promise that the "gates of hell shall not prevail" against Her.  2000 years later, we can still find the Catholic Church alive and well in the world today, and we can trace Her roots throughout history via Apostolic Succession.  Without the presence of the Holy Spirit, how do you explain the tremendous vitality, success, and history of a human institution?  

    Unlike Pastor Bob back at 9th Street Open Arms Church who decides the theology of his congregation, no matter what my parish priest says from the pulpit, he can't change the Church's stance on abortion, contraceptives, marriage, or any other hot button issue.  Even if a Catholic priest is living in a state of mortal sin, it has no effect on his ability to administer the sacraments.  So, no matter which Catholic Church I go to on this planet, if there's a priest there who gives a proper Mass, I get to receive Jesus in the Eucharist.  

    This conversation about "liberal Catholic" vs. "conservative Catholic" makes me think about a sign my fifth grade teacher had on her classroom bulletin board.  It said, "What's right is not always popular.  What's popular is not always right."  This simple, almost cliché saying, needs repeating.  We're bombarded with the statistics and accusations that 98% of Catholic women use contraceptives, so what's the big deal anyway?!  If it's popular, it must be true, it must be good, and the rest of you crazy, conservative Catholics ought to get with the program.  

    Well, that's the problem.  We seem to think majority rules every area of our lives.  Here's the thing:  Even if only 1 woman on this planet wasn't using contraceptives, it wouldn't change the Church's stance on the issue.  There's no safety in numbers when it comes to morality.  There's no changing Truth.  So, there's no need to call me or anyone else a "conservative Catholic."  Likewise, there's no need to call someone a "liberal Catholic" or the perhaps even more irritating label of "progressive Catholic."  We're either faithful or unfaithful to Mother Church.  

    Let's get one thing clear, though:  I'm a sinner, and I do more than my fair share of screwing up--just ask my friends and family.  Regardless of my own personal failings, it doesn't change my ability to see the Church as teaching Truth.  If we only look to one another to be our moral compasses, we're literally in for a world of hurt.  We're going to fall short of the good that we're made for from time to time.  It creates great scandal to those who watch us fall.  Yet, why in the world would we choose to abandon Christ and His Church because of the actions of another human?  Would we leave Christ because of Judas?  We're earthen vessels, and hopefully we're all doing the best we can to lead a life worthy of  Christ's sacrifice, but the choices we make cannot negate Truth.  We choose Truth when we embrace and follow Mother Church.  That doesn't make us liberal or conservative; that makes us faithful disciples.

    Monday, April 2, 2012

    Spring Trip to the Zoo

    We took advantage of the unusually warm weather we've been having and went to the zoo last week.  It was our first trip to the zoo as a family since Walt was born.  Janie and Walt loved looking at all of the animals.  

    Janie insisted on wearing her big, goofy Tinker Bell sunglasses.  Between the pink shades and her plaid shorts, I'd say that girl has a lot of spunk!   


    Talking to the gorillas
    We LOVE this polar bear!  He would swim to the corner you see here, flip himself onto his back, do a lazy backstroke along the glass as he pushed himself off of the cement blocks separating each pane of glass, and repeat to all of our glee.  He even dove for some fish at the bottom of the tank while we were there. 
    Walt was captivated by the performing polar bear, too.
    Did you know that peacocks love Goldfish crackers?
    Before we knew it, about a dozen peacocks were following us in the pursuit of more Goldfish!

    I never noticed them before, but apparently the zoo has an entire hillside of prairie dogs!  They were so cute!  It was like my own up-close-and-personal glimpse into Meerkat Manor.

    Baby Walt passed out about halfway into our trip to the zoo.  He seems to like the most uncomfortable positions for sleeping. 
    The zoo recently added this beautiful "Garden of the Senses," featuring large birds, fountains, and beautiful plant life.
    Choo choo!
    Starting to zone out on the way home
    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand she's out!

    I just happened to come across this picture of Janie from our first trip to the zoo with her when she was five months old.  It's crazy to think that this picture was taken just two years ago!  So much has changed since then!  

    Philip and Jane with the elephants, Summer 2010
    Philip and Jane with the bears, Spring 2012
    We'll be back to see you again soon, animals!